She Likes to Hear Herself Write

Cookie Dough and Consequences

2009-04-23T10:31:00.006-04:00

My Grandma was born and raised in the South…deep in the hollers of central Tennessee. Her upbringing was humble, yet filled with love. When she was 17, she fell in love and married my Grandpa, an Army Projectionist, stationed in TN during WWII. He was a “Yankee” and quickly whisked her off to Michigan after the war. She returned to her Southern roots as often as she could through the years, but to this day, still resides in the North, complete with sprinklings of her once very pronounced Southern drawl.

When I was young, we would sit at my Grandma’s kitchen table, and watch snowflakes fall out her frost-covered Michigan windows. With her rolling pin, she would shape the most incredibly tasting cookie dough into a lopsided circle, and we would press Christmas themed cookie cutters firmly into the dough. While her back was turned, I would secretly tear off a “smidgeon” (this word conceived and born in the South) of the cookie dough, quickly placing it in my mouth before she would see. I would slowly let it melt in my mouth to keep the evidence of my “sin” from being detected.

My Grandma has always been a talker, and I mean that most respectfully. She can carry on a conversation with the best of them, and her endearing accent is just part of her charm. She is an encourager, a letter writer, a woman who could change any heart from sad to glad just by using simple words like “dumplin’, precious, honey, and sweetheart.” The words wrap you like a comfortable blanket from your childhood, and have the power to remove the worst of moods on a rainy day. She has other patterned words she uses as well, like “so forth and so on” and “tidily-winkers.” But probably one of the words she uses often that stands out to me most is the word “consequently.” I think of her every time I hear it.

Consequently is a word she always uses in her story-telling. It is the part in her stories when she is going to state the outcome, whether obvious or unknown - essentially her moral of the story, the crux if you will. In all the years I have heard her say it, I have never really thought that deeply of its meaning. But recently, I have been thinking of the consequences of some choices I have made in my life, and I understand all the more the very weight of the word.

Honestly, I don’t like the word consequence. I don’t like to hear it. And I only like to say it when I am parenting…and even that is a stretch. Con-se-quence. I oppose it. I fight it. I hate when the word and its results seem to tighten around me like a straightjacket. It is in my nature to despise it, because I love getting away with sin in my life. It feels better than getting something for free. Without consequences, I am “free to move about the cabin” – do whatever I want without the fear of repercussions. But I live in a world created by a just God. And because He is just and loving, He cannot and will not allow me to go unscathed by my choices. As elementary as it might sound, it is the very pain from the consequence that hopefully discourages me from doing it again.

As parents, we think consequence only applies to our kids. We foolishly think we have outgrown the word and its effects. But I see it played out in me and all around me- both in those that know Christ and those that don’t want any part of Him. God will remain just and sovereign regardless of how you feel about Him.

In Galatians 6:7-8 (The Message), Paul states “Don't be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he'll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God's Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.” Maybe the New Living Translation says it even better. “Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.

So, consequently, how I live out my life matters. What I do with the designated amount of days God has ordained specifically for me has significant meaning. How I love, how I serve, how I engage my life with others matters. As much as I am forgiven for the choices I make (and believe me, I know this to be complete Truth), I still have a harvest of weeds I must contend with as a result. And I want my life to show more than that. I want to harvest things of beauty, things of worth, and things of love. I don’t want my legacy to be one of consequences. And I want those around me to benefit by my harvest -to not be hindered or affected negatively by my foolish tendencies.

Right now, I am in the middle of a consequence. So are you. Maybe it’s a positive one….maybe it is a result of something you have done that you wish you hadn’t. Be encouraged by the gift of forgiveness that God offers. And be thankful for the pain of consequence, which has the potential of changing patterns of behavior in our lives for good. Consequently, this reminds me that I am long overdue with a phone call to my Grandma. Wish we could be sitting at her kitchen table right now over some mighty tasty cookie dough.

Amazing, Astonishing, Overwhelmingly Wonderful Friday!

2009-04-07T09:47:00.001-04:00

If I told you I sometimes struggle during the week approaching Easter Sunday, would you think less of me? I mean, after all, I am a child of God. I have been saved by grace. I am delivered. I have been made new. I am set free. By His wounds and by the very celebration of that infamous Third Day, I am healed. So, why do I feel sadness…even heartache, as we annually approach the remembrance of such a defining moment in the lives of those who know Jesus Christ?

In all honesty, I can’t stand that my sin caused Someone so perfect, so incredibly Holy, so innocent, so undeserving of such a vile death - to pay the ultimate price for wretched things I have done and most assuredly will do during this one life I have been given. It bothers me. I want to change it desperately. I want to rectify it. Make it right somehow. Maybe even go so far as to intentionally dedicate all my human determination just to live out ONE DAY without my natural bent toward sin - foolishly believing that if I try “really hard,” I just might accomplish holiness. But with all certainty, I will fail. I won’t achieve it no matter how much effort I put into it. This nature of mine will always be present, until I see The Remedy for my earthly battle face to face.

If I tried to analyze why Easter bothers me, I need to be a little more precise in my thinking. It’s not the day of Easter that surrounds me with sadness. It’s Good Friday that is difficult for me to experience. After all, according to John 19, we know that this is the day that Jesus was whipped. The day a crown of thorns were pressed firmly into His head. The moment in time He was slapped in the face and spit upon. Flogged. Beaten. The day He was crucified.

While others around Him had so much to say, so much to shout, scream, and chant, Jesus uttered few words that day. He had a minimal exchange of words with a wishy-washy leader named Pilate. He tried to share words of comfort with His mother Mary and His beloved disciple John, while the weight of His body sagged with gravity from a wooden cross – the very cross in which He had just struggled to carry on His own innocent shoulders. With little energy left in a ravaged, dying body, He simply uttered, “I’m thirsty.” Being offered a saturated sponge with sour wine for relief, Jesus died with His last words being, “It is finished.” Hallelujah!! Hallelujah!!

**********************************************************************************

I love the honest questions kids ask. No embarrassment. No shame - just simply wanting an answer to satisfy a wonder in their mind. One day, I had a 6th grader ask me, “If Jesus was crucified on Good Friday, why in the world do we call it ‘good?’ It seems very bad to me. Why don’t we call it Bad Friday?” What a great question!!! Something we have all probably wondered at one time or another in our journey with God. I replied to the student that labeling it “Bad Friday” wouldn’t work very well. It just doesn’t describe the day accurately. It does in a sense - because the torturous acts that Jesus endured were horrendous. No one would argue that. But if He hadn’t suffered in the ways that He did, I would be left in darkness, a life-long prisoner of my own sin. He did it so I could have life, and have life to the fullest. And that is GOOD!!! Yet, maybe the name “Good Friday” doesn’t cut it. What Jesus did that day is GREAT!! It is AWESOME!! It is AMAZING!! ASTONISHING!! WONDERFUL!! It is OVERWHELMING!! It is BEAUTIFUL!! And He did this for me! He did this for you! And that is what makes it so “good.” Because He is good. He was good then and He is good now.

Reminding myself of all this “Good Stuff” this morning, leads me to feel not so sad anymore…not so heartbroken. There is much to celebrate. Much to praise. And so much to be exceedingly grateful for.

The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
a scrubby plant in a parched field. There was nothing attractive about him,
nothing to cause us to take a second look. He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away.
We looked down on him, thought he was scum. But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself,
that God was punishing him for his own failures. But it was our sins that did that to him,
that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins! He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed. We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost.
We've all done our own thing, gone our own way. And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong,
on him, on him.

Isaiah 53:2-6 The Message

Rockin' down the highway

2009-03-09T14:01:00.003-04:00

Hopie and I shared a rare moment the other night while traveling to Michigan in celebration of my Grandparents' 65th Wedding Anniversary. It's not often that she sits "shotgun" in the truck, but in order to curb the high potential of car sickness,"ya do whacha gotta do." We were on a long stretch of I-94 between Detroit and Battle Creek, watching the yellow lines between lanes passing rapidly out of the corner of our eyes. We weren't in deep conversation....just mentally ranking the signs of activity with each exit we passed. The ipod was plugged into the lighter. No longer is their need to scan local stations in desperation of a "decent" song we can both listen to. The ipod allows for such incredible musical freedom when you're "rockin' down the highway." The ipod also gives my girl a very unique song list in comparison to most of her 5th grade "associates." We hummed along to "Lowrider" by War...listened to "What the man said" by Paul McCartney and Wings,...and danced to "Rubberband Man" by the Spinners while attached tightly to the seats by our seatbelts. But the memory I'll forever have in my mind was when we threw all inhibitions aside and belted out "Midnight Train to Georgia" at the top of our lungs...she being Gladys and I being a "Pip." Her melody was incredible, and I must say my backup lyrics were...ummm..trulyunprecedented by any historical "pip." It was a bonding moment...the smile on our faces a mile wide as we mistakenly changed lyrics, and added whole new meanings to the word "rhythm." And then...after 4 short minutes and 39 seconds, our moment on stage was over. She went back to being Hopie and I went back to being simply Hestermomma without even a hint of my former stature as a "Pip." We looked and smiled at one another when our few tender minutes of "fame" were over. We had experienced a rare gift together...nothing planned...no calendar activity being achieved. Just a simple stretch of highway forever changed by two goofy Hestergirls and the smiling face of God who delights in any "joyful noise" made by His children.

Stay....just a little bit longer

2009-02-10T08:57:00.004-05:00

WOW!!! It's been a while!! Maybe I should reintroduce myself. "Hello, I am the Hestermomma." Authorities in Blogland suggest you never break this long from writing. You'll lose your readership. People won't stay loyal to your blog. It is frustrating for the reader to continually see the same entry unchanged on the page. This hiatus I have inadvertently taken certainly wasn't intentional. Life at the Hesterhome has been extremely busy. Case in point... Tonight, we are having our first night together as a family since January 30th. Those are standards we are not comfortable with...but it has been just one of those seasons. As much as I don't like it, there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it.

And here is another thing which we are working on that we don't like. It is the fact that Gregg and I are creatures of habit and we are probably the most predictable people on the face of the earth. If it weren't for the promptings of well meaning family members, we would have probably never gone to half the places we have been to, both as a couple and as a family. Honestly, I think this frustrates me more than it does Gregg. Maybe it is because he gets to travel for his job while I hold down the fort. Maybe that is why he loves to be a predictable homebody. Of course, as always, I digress. We are trying to plan something special for our...ahem...should I really say it...40th birthdays. We are 5 days apart to the year, and this one will be especially tough as my husband will be married to a 40 year old while still basking proudly in his 30's. Totally unjust!!

We have been mulling this idea of going away for our birthdays for quite a while. We will talk a little bit about it...then life will get in the way, and it will be tabled for days...mostly weeks, until we revisit the subject again. Now that the birthdays are nearing and you only turn 40 once (thank goodness!), we are feeling some self-imposed pressure to "land somewhere" with our ideas. There are so many things that must occur before you can go anywhere. First and foremost, you have to find a safe place for your precious ones to stay while you are away. You don't want to impose on someone, but without local family, you are forced to succumb to the generosity of sweet friends. So, we've got that covered. Then there is that little annoying detail of money. This we don't have covered...at least not covered in abundance. We have a small budget to work within, and I am grateful for that. Next you have to find somewhere that you would both enjoy discovering together. This is challenging for us. While we are alike in so many ways, we differ greatly on our definitions of relaxation. As my husband put it so eloquently on Facebook the other day, "She is 'Dah-ling, I love you but give me Park Avenue,' and I am 'farm livin'is the life for me.'" Nailing down something we would both enjoy experiencing together is not as easy as I would hope.

So, yesterday, I approached him with the idea of a "Stay-cation," and the moment the words came out, I regretted saying them. I saw his demeanor change...a sparkle present in his eye...a small smile formed out of the corner of his mouth. Oh no!!! He likes the idea!!! I can already tell!! He likes it a lot!! He started talking about all the benefits to the idea of a "stay-cation"....some I cannot get into here. From a budget perspective, he loved it!! He talked about how much more we could do and see if we just used the Hesterhome as the Hesterhotel instead. And then my heart sank. I wanted to tell him how lame we are as a couple. How unadventurous we have become, ummm, always been. But as I have thought about the idea more and more...even gone on ExperienceColumbus.com, I am getting kind of excited about the idea. It kind of sounds like fun.

I haven't told him yet that I am on board with this idea. I am sure he is thinking "If you didn't like the idea in the first place, why did you even suggest it?" Such a woman thing to do, isn't it? Suggest something, but not really mean it. Or is it simply a "woman approaching 40" thing to do??!!! If so, it might be a rough decade around here. "Oh where, oh where have my 20s and 30s gone? Oh where, oh where can they be???" (Sung to the tune of "Oh where has my little dog gone?")

The Misnomer of Sin Lite- Half the Disobedience, with little consequences

2009-01-27T09:30:00.007-05:00

I have been thinking a lot about David lately. It's not that he is taking over the rightful place where my husband should be in my thoughts...but he comes pretty close. I have come to the place in my study where David spends too much time feasting his eyes upon Bathsheba and plunges to the depths of sin like he never had before. (Don't you think it is weird that she happened to be taking a "Bath" on a rooftop, and her name just happens to be BATHsheba? I've always wondered about that.) In previous chapters detailing David's life in 1 and 2 Samuel, he triumphs in everything he does because he is a humble man after God's own heart. He experiences success upon success in his life, all the while recognizing the sole source of his prosperity comes from God and God alone. He understood this clearly...he got it...he lived it...and yet somewhere along the way, he lost sight of the benefits of obedience to God and His protection. And when he lost sight, he lost sight in undeniable ways. He stole another man's wife, he slept with her, got her pregnant, tried to trick her husband, then had him murdered, and went on with his life like nothing had ever happened. After the "proper" amount of grieving time had been allotted, he even had Bathsheba move in with him. Who was this guy? It's incredibly hard to recognize who David was at his core after all that had "gone down" in such a short amount of time. I wonder if he even recognized himself. Had he traveled so far from God in thought and deed that even he couldn't remember what his life with God once looked like?

I can think of a lot of things that scare me in life...probably the very same things that worry you at times. But something that ranks very high on that list is the ravages of my sin....the consequences of my sin...the ramifications of my sin. And maybe more importantly, the thought of knowing that I might just willingly walk into it, if my sinful heart so desires. An extremely dangerous place to be. Literally makes my heart pound faster just thinking about it.

When I read about David, I don't stand in judgment...I read it as if he were me. And it is pretty easy to do (except for the fact that he was a man) because of our commonality of sin. As much as I don't want to identify with his mistakes, I can. Mine look different, but the results needed are still the same....forgiveness from God, sprinkled with the judgement of His Holiness. Because of His love for David, He couldn't allow the behavior and the choices to go without accountability. And He will do the same for me. I know it and I have experienced it.

I wonder if David took these choices (sin) that he made regarding his infatuation for Bathsheba lightly. Did he realize how one act "snowballed" into many equally devastating choices? Did he give any consideration to how God was feeling about his new path in life? How lightly do I take my own sin? How often do I take the time to confess my impure thoughts, words, and deeds to God? Do I subconsciously save the act of repentance just for the "big" stuff...the full calorie "Fat Sin?" Isn't all sin "fat?" None of it is "lite." It is all equally as devastating, isn't it?

I love how God doesn't walk away from David ("I will never leave you nor foresake you") and wash His hands of him. He shares the outcome of David's sin with him...because of His love for him. As a result of David's choices, God shares that "the sword will never depart from your house." (Meaning killing and murder will always be a part of his family) And it was. As I think about my own sin, I wonder what swords are a part of my life because of the sin choices I have made. Pondering this has caused me to speculate specifically what some of my own swords might be, although it has never been confirmed by the words of God Himself in my case. (David was privileged to hear from God specifically on that.) I just know they are there.

For these long-winded reasons listed above, I cannot take my sin lightly. As much as I would humanly like to, there is nothing "lite" about my sin. I must strive for obedience knowing that I will never attain it fully, even in all my heartful attempts. I am grateful that there is the hope of forgiveness, the promise of God's best for me in my life, even when I clearly don't deserve anything remotely that good. I'm tired of living in a sinful world. I am tired of my own sin. Do you ever feel that way? If only something much different had taken place in that garden so many, many years ago. You know...I'd really like to pass the "sin buck" to Eve and her apple. It is in my very nature to do so. :)

Something I am "passion"ate about

2009-01-23T10:33:00.003-05:00

In this coffee-crazed, Starbucks status, $5 cup of java world, one might feel pressured to drink coffee even if they didn't like it, just to be "cool." I have never been interested in even trying coffee. Coffee is for my grandparents....I am just too young to drink it. But sometimes I would like something warm to drink in the winter which is not full of calories like hot chocolate or lattes. So, just recently I took the plunge and decided to try hot tea instead. I love it, I love it, I love it!!!! My food knowledgeable friend Brenda says that it is healthy for you, especially those that don't contain caffeine. Tea has no calories (unless you add sugar) and it has those very needed antioxidants for healthy whatevers. There are so many flavors to chose from....there is bound to be one that you would like. My ultimate favorite is "Passion" by Tazo. You must try it!! You can spend the same amount for a tea bag of it at Starbucks...or you can by a whole box of it at Meijer. It is excellent, and for fussy drinkers like myself, you just can't beat a hot cup of "Passion." I am recommending it to all my friends. And....four out of five dentists surveyed recommend Tazo's Passion Tea for their patients who chew tea. Now those are some convincing statistics!!! Give it a try....and tell em the Hesterwoman sent you.

It was "Totally Tubular"......in a way

2009-01-19T06:22:00.006-05:00

Last night, I had the pleasure of having our EPIC HS Girls over for a Movie Night at the Hester-theater. It seemed like perfect timing....no school the next day for MLK. They could stay as long as they wanted without the fear of having to go to school the next day. And what else does a teen girl have to do on a cold winter's Sunday night in suburban Columbus?? We chose "13 Going on 30" as our selection for Movie Night. I had seen this movie once before, by myself, one Saturday afternoon, and I must tell you it is completely different watching it with a group of texting savvy teenagers who have no "respect" for what it is like growing up in the 80's. :)

"13 Going on 30" is the female version of "Big" if you haven't seen it before. Definitely worth seeing. Throughout the movie, the girls commented on the atrocity of our hairstyles, the bold loud colors of our clothing, not to mention ridiculous music we listened to. I knew we were deep in the pit of a huge generation gap when I had to explain to them the incredible musical milestone of the video "Thriller." After viewing a segment of the movie with the "King of Pop" flashing on the screen, one teen innocently asked "What's up with Michael Jackson?" It seemed we had no choice but to stop the movie for a much needed dissertation on the sheer relevance of the Thriller album ("What's an album?" they would ask) back in the
80's. And the glove....should I even take the time to go into the glove and when Michael himself strangely caught on fire during filming a Pepsi ad? Could they relate? Would they even understand? Should I go so far as to share the "phenomenon" of the moon walk? Would they treat it with the respect necessary? Would that be too much to ask?

Sprinkled throughout the movie was the soundtrack of my teen years with songs by the Go-Go's, Talking Heads, and sadly, Madonna. At times, I felt so old as we watched the movie, much like my mom must have felt when she would listen to AM Radio with us in our Chevy Vega, with a smile on her face, humming to "My Boyfriend's Back and you're going to be in trouble." Sing it with me, "Hey-la, Hey-la, my boyfriend's back." Music has a way of taking you back in time, doesn't it? It has a mysterious power to remind you of who you were, and what was important to you at the time the song was at its most popular. I wonder how today's music will effect this group of teens as they age. Will they look back at their songs fondly like we did? (What are their songs, anyway. I have no idea.) Will the music still have the power to paint a picture for them of their teen years? I suppose it does with every generation. Maybe my grandma is even taken back in time when she listens to Glenn Miller. I know I am.

Didn't it just seem like yesterday we were teasing our bangs and plastering them with hairspray? Wasn't it just the other day when I put on my leg warmers and tied my shoes with multi-colored shoe laces with sayings printed on them? And didn't I just put on my tapered jeans rolled up tightly around the ankles? I guess much time has passed and I didn't even realize it. Although, if you look around lately, it seems that the skinny jeans are coming back. Oh why, oh why, must we succumb to that trend once again??? This is one body that can not and will not do those jeans ever again. They are soooooo grody to the max.

In all seriousness, I truly enjoyed my time spent with the girls last night and witnessing their take on a generation that is as foreign to them as speaking Vietnamese. And now, I must humbly join the ranks of generations before me who struggled greatly in sharing the relevance of their growing up years to those misunderstanding "youngsters" below them. Make room for me, Mom. It's my turn now.

A Birthday Present of the Ridiculous Kind

2009-01-15T13:47:00.004-05:00

This year happens to be a milestone of sorts for me. It is soooo not a big deal to the trillions of people that have done it before me, but for some reason, to me, it just is. "Word on the street" is that I will be turning 40 soon. I honestly can't understand how 40 years of my life have already been documented in the annals of Hesterhistory, but it is true. I can't stop it. I can't deny it. And, I just can't believe it. How can someone who was graduating from college just the other day...someone who had the "whole world before her," now suddenly turn 40??? Is this some kind of a trick, a figment of my imagination, a time warp of sorts?? If memory serves correctly, I just learned to tie my shoes, ride a bike without training wheels, and drink kool-aid without a lid. Or maybe that was my girls I am thinking of. Great!!! Senility is already setting in and I haven't even official hit the BIG 4-0 yet.

People talk about how great 40 is. Oprah had been bragging about it for years...that is, until she turned 50. They say what a peaceful time it is in one's life. A time of serenity, hope, and contentment. Things that are hard to imagine from where I am sitting. I see it as a time of living with two teenage girls who will eventually graduate and leave for college. I see it as a time where more wrinkles appear, where things which have already started moving south, will continue to do so. Where they will stop, nobody knows!!!! (Do you know what I am saying??) A time when people will ask my age and instead of saying, "No, you're kidding," they will simply respond abruptly with, "Oh, I thought so." What is serene, peaceful, or hopeful about that?????

I really say all this with a hint of humor. I trust you sense that. This is something I cannot change, and I hope to "embrace" at some point. But to take the sting off of it just a little, I thought it might be fun to celebrate the number 40 before it actually gets here...before the point of no return. This is a birthday present of the ridiculous kind. Here goes:

There are many of you who read my blog who come from places on the map which I have never been to. Some of these towns/cities I have never heard of, yet you are faithful to read my random thoughts each week. I am very grateful. I would love to know who you are. In celebration of the great number 40, I would like to challenge my "readership" to join my blog as a follower (see side column under comments). I would love to reach the number 40, for my own 40th next month. Silly goal, but at least it makes turning 40 just a little bit fun!!! Come on!! I know you can do it!!!

Completion of Week #1- Attempting to overcome self

2009-01-11T10:21:00.001-05:00

This past week has been really exciting while intentionally giving each day to God and seeing what He is going to do with it. Some days have been more serving oriented than others, but my challenge of looking to meet the needs of others has been so unexpected and thrilling. Each experience has been unique. Gives me butterflies just thinking about it.

The ultimate challenge to overcoming self and pouring instead into the lives of others, is to not make this a "look what wonderful things I am doing" thing. In other words, in my attempts to not make life "all about me," focusing on the great things that I am doing, brings me right back to the place of elevating self. This so defeats the purpose. This needs to be all about God and nothing less.

Today, in my David study, I was reading in 2 Samuel how often David gave God the glory and honor for everything that happened in his life. In a time of leadership when it would have been SO EASY to say "Look what I have done," he always brought the emphasis back to God. This is a "man after God's own heart" in action. Although we know from David's history, that his walk with God didn't always look this way, at this point in his life, he got it right. Everything about him pointed others to the magnificence of God.

I got an interesting email from one of the Blog Friends this week. If she lived closer, I would SO take her to lunch. I can tell we would have some awesome conversations together. She lives out of state, but she is taking this Overcoming Self challenge quite seriously. The story that she shared with me through her email of how God was using her this particular week was incredibly inspirational and unexpected for her. I could tell she was blown away by the unmatched creativity of her Father, in His idea of how He would use her to be His hands and feet this week. Can't wait to hear from her again next week!!!

I also have a local friend who is joining me in the challenge. Her heart is huge...and she would give every minute of her life to serve other people, if she wasn't teaching precious 2nd graders about the love of God and the importance of academics. She is meeting a need for a family of one of her students right now. She would do this anyway, whether she was trying to challenge herself or not. But I can see she is looking around her everyday, asking God, "What will you do with me today?" This is so cool!!!!

I have some unique opportunities for next week, already being laid out. I am so excited about this!!!! Maybe God will change those...maybe He will keep them the same. But I pray He will continually purge the parts of me that are soooo "all about me" and that His radiance will shine brightly over those inadequacies. I have but one life...and it feels so good to use it for Him.

Seasons in the Sun-Part 2

2009-01-10T09:12:00.001-05:00

Please read Part 1 of this post first, under 1/9/09-

Last Sunday night, I sat in my living room across from a friend I hadn't spent time with in eons. She surprised me that night by just "showing up," and I was so elated. I may be exaggerating a little here, but that statement, "a friend I hadn't spent time with in eons", could describe just about anyone in my life. You could insert any friend's name in that sentence and it would be true. We spent a good hour and a half sharing morsels of one another's lives....engaging in healthy reciprocating conversation like a tennis match of words, thoughts, and simply life. It was unbelievably refreshing and I felt so energized as she left. She had given the unexpected gift of time and conversation to me that night....and I didn't even have to beg her for it. It felt good. Really good.

One of the topics we touched on that evening, was this concept of "seasons of friendship" which I was referring to in yesterday's post. It seems that I am not "alone" in feeling "alone." In fact, there are countless of us in this current stage of life that say we feel alone. Our lives are jammed packed full of activities, obligations, and schedules. Before we know it, every idea that seemed good at the time has now become just another plate to keep spinning in the air. And we are overwhelmed. Our heads hit our pillows each night and we praise our God for the gift of sleep, only to be rudely interrupted by our morning alarm, seemingly just minutes later. And then we ask ourselves, "How did I get here? And where did everybody go???"

There are no simple answers to this situation we find ourselves in as mothers of school-age children and the lack of time we have for deep, meaningful friendships. We are here, and we don't like it....but what are we going to do about it? I can tell you one thing we are not going to do. We are not going to sit around watching this one life which God has given us pass us by without the blessing of "iron sharpening iron" friendships. We are going to look around and reconnect with these friendships that were so very important to us in our past, when our babies were young and with us all the time. We are going to let people know how much we love them and appreciate them. We are once again going to laugh with them, and cry with them. We are going to live life with them....it just may have to look a little differently. And at the end of the day, that same weary head will hit the pillow, instead with a spirit refreshed by the blessing of having others caring about your life and you doing the same for them.

A Side Note of Applicability- Tonight, some old friends who are longing to reconnect with one another are going to see a movie and go out to eat. Maybe people do this all the time. Maybe others make time together a priority. Maybe others have a handle on their schedules. But this situation is unique to us. We haven't done this before.....but I hope we do it again.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun

2009-01-09T16:08:00.007-05:00

Part 1-

One of the many things I value in my life is the gift of having a sister. It hasn't always been this way. When we were younger, we had very little appreciation for one another. I think it is very typical...at least I see that being played out in my own house from time to time between my girls. Our relationship has long evolved past the days of her telling on me, and the days of me accidentally hitting her with a baseball bat in the head. We are now at the same place in life...smack dab in the trenches of parenting, being a wife, and pursuing a deeper relationship with God. There is much we are on the same page about.

Since we don't live in the same state, our way of connecting solely depends on the phone. We talk often...and we talk deeply. We talk about subjects that are important to discuss, but can't be discussed with just anyone. We confide in each other. We exchange in meaningless chatter. We challenge one another in our lives. We laugh at things which no one else would find funny. And because I am 6 years older than her....sometimes I still play the role of big sister. Guess it is hard for me to keep it contained.

In one of our weekly discussions, we got on the subject of friendships the other day. My sister is in a season of friendships with women which has been extremely fulfilling and gratifying to her. She is blessed to stay at home with her youngest Isabelle, who is almost 20 months, and many of her girlfriends are in that same stage of parenting. She loves the times when they get their kids together for a play date. She enjoys the availability of her friends, and how they could get together at a moment's notice if they wanted to. She appreciates their accessibility, as they are simply just a phone call away...and she never feels like she is interrupting them from something more important. She is extremely content in her friendships... for maybe the first time in her life. These relationships are comfortable and unpretentious. A complete blessing to her.

As we proceeded through our conversation, I told her how much I valued those days as well, with a hint of sadness in my voice. She paused in her response, and reluctantly asked, "Will my friendships not always look like this?" I hesitated to put a damper upon something that brings her so much joy.....a revelation of reality into her mind. But I felt like it was something that she needed to know....something that I wish I had known. The truth of the matter is this season of availability will not last. By the time these babies get into school, everything changes. The feasibility of getting together diminishes dramatically. The demands of the family change and require more time....which you gladly give. But you surely look back on the closeness of those friendships of the past and feel a pain in your heart for what has inadvertently disappeared. How incredibly valuable they were, and how incredibly valuable they would still be....if we just weren't so busy.

End of Part One....Stay tuned for more on this subject in tomorrow's posting.

In my life....I loved me more

2009-01-03T09:14:00.005-05:00

Above all the grace and the gifts
that Christ gives to his beloved
is that of overcoming self.

-Saint Francis of Assisi

Overcoming self. That is what I would like to make 2009. The year of overcoming self. Can you think of a more monumental task? Oh sure, Barack Obama has his work cut out for him when it comes to the economy, the war in Iraq, his abs, etc. But what if he added overcoming self to the list of things to accomplish in 2009? Our hearts would really go out to him then, no matter how we voted in November. We recognize how toilsome that can be. We are right there with him. It is at the very core of our struggles. Overcoming self is so easier said than done.

I love how simply John 3:30 puts it. "He must increase, and I must decrease." Seven simple words that are as clear and unmistakable as they are arduous and demanding. Why is this way of thinking...this way of living...this way of serving Christ so hard for us to grasp? Even if we intentionally want to live out our God-ordained days this way, we don't know exactly how to do it. Instead, we are so proficient at being ourselves. Nobody does "us" better. Being us is as easy as being on auto-pilot. No need to steer ourselves in another direction, we are soaring high on our own. Or are we? What gravely important God-opportunities are we missing out on, when we live in the land of self?

The facets of living for self are so complicated, aren't they? My deeply entrenched ways of living for self, and your ways probably look completely different, yet they have a common theme...me. Sometimes we can recognize each other's self-seeking tendencies long before we discern our own. We are pretty good at that. I wonder how willing we would be to ask those around us what they truly see those inclinations to be. It's a scary thought, isn't it? How much success have you had with that? Selfish inquiring minds want to know. :) Is it possible to hear the truth about ourselves and walk away unscathed? Deep thoughts for a Saturday morning, right? Whatever happened to just watching cartoons on Saturday mornings? Laughing at Bugs Bunny is much more pleasant than the topic of overcoming self. All agreed?

This is why I blogged earlier about challenging myself in 2009 to develop a heart for serving others instead of being so "all about me." I am excited to have a few of you joining me on this journey. How wonderful it will be it have that accountability!! There is room for more. Come aboard!! You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. (This is a New Year's Resolution that is all about gaining...while most others will challenge you to lose.)

I have a few irons in the fire next week in the area of serving that I am excited about. Simply meeting needs....how cool is that!!! Looking forward to hearing about your "irons" as well.

Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow?

2008-12-31T14:18:00.003-05:00

It's not often that The HesterMan and I have trouble in the communication department. For all our faults as a couple, there is one thing we have always been pretty good at...and that is talking with one another. We have never had to work really hard at how to approach one another with words...formulating sentences..carefully speaking diplomatically to one another. We have had to work really hard at other things, but not necessarily the "gift of gab." (That may be my gift...and his is the gift of listening. Your guess is as good as mine. :))

But our stellar communication skills went out the door recently when I asked Gregg to mail out our Christmas cards. If you have been following my blog at all (and who hasn't!!), you know what a thorn in my side these Christmas cards have been. They shouldn't be like that...but I have made it that way by waiting to the last minute to complete them. Right before we left for Michigan, I laid on my sick throne of a bed, and tried to complete as many as I could before growing faint and weary. (A little dramatic here, but people enjoy drama.) I sealed the last one with a sense of victory, knowing that the postmark would be the day before Christmas, and somehow that gets me in the window of punctuality. I handed the pile of cards to Gregg and said, "These need to be mailed before we leave." I was amazed that he didn't "throw a fit" about going to the post office when we were supposed to be hitting the road momentarily. I chalked it up to the wonderful serving nature of my husband, and moved onto the next task to get us out the door and on the road.

Fast forward a week later, and I am approaching my mailbox at midnight, having just returned from a Youth Event at church. I couldn't remember sending the girls out earlier in the day to retrieve the mail, so I was pretty sure it was still in the box. And boy, was there ever!!!!! In the darkness of the night, I pulled a card out of the mailbox that had stamped upon it, "RETURN FOR POSTAGE." "Oh," I thought to myself, "the stamp must have fallen off this one." Not good, but I will just stick another on it, and beg for mercy from its recipients later. As I reached in to get the rest of the mail, I felt a bundle of mail held together tightly by a rubber band. "What on earth is this?" I muttered in the blackness of midnight. Imagine my "horror" when I realized it was all of our Christmas cards....WITHOUT STAMPS ON THEM. Gregg had followed my instructions to a "t," never noticing that when I had handed him the bundle a week prior, the cards had no stamps on them AND THEY STILL DIDN'T!!!

I wanted so desperately to wake him up when I walked into the house with the bundle under my arm. I couldn't figure out how he didn't notice there were no stamps on these things. I approached our bedroom with the soundtrack of his snoring in the background, ready to shake him awake for an explanation. But it just wasn't worth it. It really didn't matter. There was nothing I could do about now. And who wants to be startled from a deep sleep while being attacked over silly stamps. It could wait until the morning. I was pretty sure I knew what happened anyway.

So, if you haven't received a Christmas Card from the Hesterfamily yet, it may be on its way shortly to a mailbox near you. If you never get one, accept this belated salutation from our family to yours, and know in our hearts that we wished you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!

**Hestercouple New Year's Resolution #1- Mean what you say, and say what you mean. If you want him to go to the post office, TELL HIM. This home needs to be an "Assumption Free Zone." :)

Just call me "Oprah"....better yet...don't

2008-12-29T15:44:00.003-05:00

Being sick in bed for 5 days gave me some time to think (between those dreaded "Gold" commercials and Sudafed fixes) about some areas in my life that need some work, or fine tuning, if you will. I feel like I have been in a season of being focused on everything else but the well-being of others. Candidly speaking, sometimes I see a need around me and I don't meet it. I think to myself, "Oh, I don't have time for that....it's someone else's turn to meet a need. Let someone else be blessed by serving once in a while." My heart for others has been tainted by my love of self. And I could feel it creeping over me like that dreaded flu bug. At times, I would ask myself, (You know those conversations you have with yourself in your head??....I know you do)"What's wrong with you? Why have you lost desire to meet needs around you? What are you doing with the time God has given you?" The answer to those questions just kept pointing me back to a place of selfishness...and it is an ugly place to be.

Focusing on yourself can lead to a depressed introspective state of mind. Have you ever noticed that? On the flip-side, when you give of yourself, there is little time to concentrate on petty things that can occupy your thought life. God created us to give ourselves away. You and I have only one life. How are we using the days in which God has given us?

Maybe it's because it is the first of the year. Maybe it's because I am turning 40. Maybe it's because I am sick and tired of being motivated to serve myself. But I got to thinking that I really need to challenge myself in 2009 to give away what God has given me...my energy and my resources to meet the needs of those He puts in my life. It is exciting to be part of the action in what God is doing!!! Why on earth have I been sitting on the sidelines???

So...I want to propose this challenge to you. This is what I have been thinking. I wonder if you would join me in meeting the needs of one person every week in 2009. Here's what that means: Simply looking around you and serving someone that God has placed in your path that week. It could be absolutely anything. There are no limits. There are no criteria. It may be making a meal for someone. It may be taking an elderly neighbor out for dinner. It may be calling someone you know who has been struggling with something big in their lives. It could be watching a couple's kids, just so they can reconnect with one another. Absolutely anything!! God will make it known. And when you are done, you will have served in 52 different ways!!!!! How cool is that???!!

I so want to do this!! And I would love to have the accountability of others doing this around me. It would be so wonderful to share in the excitement of serving!!! I have also thought about keeping a journal for the year....not to record "look what I did" but "look what God did!" With my poor memory, it would be a helpful tool.

Maybe you don't feel like you are struggling with "me-itis." If so...disregard. But if you can relate to anything here that I have shared, and you would like the challenge of sharing the gift of serving with a few others, you can simply comment right here. And together, we can be the hands and feet of Christ in a new and unique way!!! Will you join me?

Merry, Merry Christmas to you!!!

2008-12-25T08:53:00.000-05:00

THIS wasn't on the "to-do" list!

2008-12-22T02:34:00.004-05:00

I've been in bed for the last three days. Totally unexpected. I hadn't made room for this on the still ever-growing "Must do before Christmas" list. There was no lee-way, no give nor flexibility, no room for sickness on the to-do list. I had successfully arranged things that must be done down to the minute before we celebrated Christmas with my extended family, and now my "well-designed" plan has been foiled. Of course, the Christmas cards are still untouched, the Christmas cookies I made to give our neighbors still lay wrapped on the counter...and I am totally embarrassed to admit this, but I have a few more gifts yet to buy. I am in no shape to do any of these things. I am in really no shape to be writing either...but it is 2am...and I am tired of the tv.

Speaking of the tv, have you noticed how much you pay attention to cold and cough commercials when you are sick?? Man, there are A LOT of options out there!! I lay in my bed, looking painfully at the television screen, wishing I could somehow "will" the medicine to me. I know I am too sick to move from my bed to go out and get some. Which lends these thoughts....Why don't they allow some sort of delivery service for OTC meds?? If I can call and have pizza delivered in as short as 45 minutes, why can't someone bring over some Sudafed???

Some people swear by Nyquil. I know my husband does. I am so jealous of him when it comes to that. I can't take it. It has just the opposite effect on me. Although he rarely needs help in the sleep department, I can't take Nyquil because it makes me have a night of very restless, in and out of consciousness, very strange sleep. I would be an absolute fool to take it. Same goes for Tylenol PM. Whatever common ingredient that is in these things, I cannot have. I can't have caffiene after 4 pm either. Oh why, oh why must I be me????

We are supposed to celebrate the Hesterfamily Christmas this morning. Oh, how I wish I was healthy!!! My girls deserve a healthy mom to share in the wonderment of Christ's birth. Instead, I will sit on the couch with a blanket around me, incredibly scary hair, red nose, sunken eyes, more pale than normal skin, and force a smile as they open their gifts. They will want to hug me afterwards, but they can't, because we are SO MORTIFIED that anyone else in the family will get this bug. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have attempted to squeak out "Wash your hands" from this bed. I know Gregg has been singing that song into the ground too since Friday morning.

As I write this, I have decided that I am going to make an appt to see the doctor today. How I wish they still made house calls!!!! Although, if they did, my sick mind would probably encourage Gregg to clean the house before the doctor got here. And that would take a lot of work, because I have noticed that the girls have used this "down time" to do everything but pick up after themselves, make their beds, etc. I think it has been a little vacation for them to have me sick. Now, don't get me wrong, they are incredibly sympathetic to my plight. But I wouldn't be surprised if they have enjoyed the break from "me" a little bit.

I realize I have been a little wordy in the wee small hours of the morning. Be thankful you are only having to read this, and not hear it yourself. My voice is not my own. Come to think of it, my head and my sinuses are not my own either. I would gladly trade back what I had. Spending this time in bed has only confirmed the obvious to me. I enjoy interaction with people, I miss hearing from my friends, I miss talking with my sister everyday, and I haven't been able to use my allotted 5,043,403 words a day like I normally do. Thus, this incredibly long post at a ridiculously early hour in the morning.

Random thoughts:

-My husband has been very patient with me since I have been sick...a lot more patient than I am to him when he is sick. Why is that??

-I am amazed at the about of "Gold" commercials on tv. You know, "Send your miscellaneous pieces of gold you have laying around, we will melt them down, and send you a check for them. We will even give you an envelope to send them in." First of all, who has that much gold laying around?? And would you really take a risk and send it off in a envelope that's contents will be obvious to any hand that touches it? Maybe it is just me and my sick mind, but this seems outrageous to me.

-My husband did go get me some medicine and it has been a huge help. I am grateful for that. But I still need to go to the doctor. This is lingering too long. And my energy level is near empty.

-And for those of you who care, this is my 200 post of 2008. Kind of a neat milestone. I enjoy this hobby of mine, and I hope at times, you do too. Merry Christmas, dear ones. Merry Christmas.

Check Out Time is Promptly 2:15pm

2008-12-18T08:22:00.007-05:00

I don't know about all of you in the great blogosphere, but it has become very apparent around here that the Hesterfamily is shutting down for Christmas Break a little too early. I have had an enormous desire to keep my girls home from school...call them in sick every day....just to have some extra time with them. I want to make cookies with them, wrap presents with them, play endless hours of the Wii with them, spend lazy stretches of time watching old movies with them, sip hot chocolate with them, and maybe even get them to help me with those Christmas Cards that haven't gone out yet. But alas, we still have so much left to do in the obligations of school department...and we get out tomorrow at 2:15. I just cannot wait!!! I feel so celebratory, I want to throw a gigantic party for our family and all our school-aged raising friends, who just might be feeling the same way we do.

Gregg and I have been trying to hide these early "checked out" symptoms from our girls...but I don't think it is working very well. We didn't want them to be infected by our contagion. Yet, we have been seeing signs as if they have caught the bug too, despite all the whispering, sighs, wimpers, and groans we have been making apparently not too privately. Guess it has been pretty obvious that we have wanted to officially call it quits in the effort arena of tasks and "to-dos" as well.

Since evidence shows with all high probability the girls have mentally "left the building," it has been difficult to challenge them to stay afloat until Friday at 2:15. It all comes down to the proverbial "Do as I say...not as I do" in reference to the behavior they seem to be witnessing in their parents. If Faith were to check out academically now, there could be huge ramifications for her come January. We don't want that for her...but we are having a hard time fighting this ourselves. How can we honestly expect it out of her? Hopie is another story. She can check out at this point in her academic career and not pay too strongly for it. Wish we could all be sitting in that catbird seat.

How about you? Where is your family sitting when it comes to anticipating Christmas break? How have you held the reigns in keeping your family task-oriented when everybody seems to be saying "Check, please!"

Wii can't get enough

2008-12-17T06:17:00.004-05:00

I have recently developed the ability to play the banjo, flute, and tuba all within a matter of minutes. Now, before you start thinking I am a musical protege' (like you even would), I'll share a little "ancient Chinese secret" (remember that commercial from the 70's??) with you. The girls got Wii Music this past weekend from their grandparents for Christmas, and we have been playing it ever since. I am moved to tears as I listen to them play "Please Mr. Postman," "Locomotion," and "Wake me up before you go-go." (That song is the one that produces the tears...yuck..yuck..and triple yuck!!) Not only that, but I have conducted my own orchestra (what an arm workout!) and played the hand bells with Hopie (more of a wrist workout here). This is just so much fun!!!

The girls have recorded their own CDs and created their own CD jackets. They are so adorable!!! Watching our large collection of Miis participating in various forms throughout the game is absolutely hilarious!!! I never knew our Miis had so much talent!!!

So, if you are looking for a last minute Christmas gift for the kids, you really should try Wii Music. I have been pleasantly surprised with the reaction the girls have had over this latest game in our collection. (BTW, our Wii collection is very limited. Donations can be made right here on the blogspot. :))

Smile and say "Cheese"

2008-12-16T08:32:00.006-05:00

You must know that I am behind in everything I am compelled to get done before next Thursday. There is no reason on earth I should be sitting with my laptop except for the sheer excuse of procrastination. I have a "to do" list a mile long, and just when I cross something off of it, another task mysteriously tacks itself to the bottom. It will not stop growing!!

I haven't sent a single Christmas card yet. Not even sure where they are right now. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?????!!!! I used to be so dedicated to this. I would spend hours formulating the right words and message to send in our annual Christmas letter. I would buy the girls matching Christmas outfits....make an appointment at a nice professional studio and have the Hesterfamily Christmas picture taken. Now, I find my mind drifting to questions of "Is it worth the headache? Can I really tolerate arguing with my girls over what they are going to wear...how I want their hair to look...if one has food in their braces in the picture...if they have both showered recently, etc." One of my girls nearly refuses to have her picture taken. Oh where, oh where did their "complacent" toddler years go??

I feel a self-induced pressure to get these Christmas cards out. Because we don't have the time nor energy nor patience nor unanimous desire to get our family's picture professionally taken, I had to search through the pictures we have recently taken on our own. Certainly, there would be something there we could use. Nothing...nada...zero...zilch...zippo...naught...that is, except for the one picture we had taken together on the BIG GAME DAY. (The Ohio State/Michigan game, if you don't live here) That is all we have!! And in that picture, Hopie is wearing a hat on her head!!!! Hardly anything comparable to what we used to send. Maybe people will get a chuckle out of the picture. Maybe people will take pity on me as a mom and realize I try...but I just can't win all my battles when it comes to daughter-rearing. Maybe they'll read my blog and this will be a head's up to them on the "less than quality" photo they will be receiving in their Christmas card this year. But, maybe, just maybe they have their priorities in line with that of our Father, and realize that it just doesn't matter what photo you stick in the card. They just want to see how much your kids have grown...and not so much how you have. :)

As much as I feel inadequate about my own portrait pickle, I must share how much I have enjoyed the pictures we have received in the mail thus far. They are beautiful and I marvel at the ways in which you were able to pull this off, fellow mothers. Maybe after all the craziness of the season is over, (that craziness is a topic for another post, I fear) we can schedule a breakfast or lunch together and you can tell me how best to accomplish this huge feat for next year. But whatever you do...please do not use the words "smile" or "say cheese," when we get together. I would so appreciate it.

Raking up the Leaves

2008-12-11T16:06:00.003-05:00

I've been going through a little bit of a book rut lately. It has been a while since I have enjoyed the pleasures of reading a book I just cannot put down. And when I say "awhile," most of you might define awhile as one or two years. I define it as one or two months. I have a love/hate relationship with "can't put them down" books. I love to read them, start "sneaking" around for opportunities to digest them, and then I hate when I finish them. It's kind of like the anticipation of going on a date with your husband, and then feeling depressed when the date is over. The analogy may be a stretch...but it fits for me.

Last week, while searching the shelves of our library for a good book, I stumbled upon a "debut author" by the name of Nicole Baart. Without knowing a thing about her, I thought I would take a chance (I can be somewhat close-minded when it comes to an author I have never heard of) on the book and at least read the first couple of chapters. Before I knew it, not only had I read the first couple of chapters, but I finished the whole book. I LOVED IT!!!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!!!

After the Leaves Fall strangely took me back to my college days at Western Illinois University and the dating years of my husband who was going to Iowa State at the time. Nicole does such a wonderful job of capturing the thought processes of a 19 yr. old college student. Her writing made me visualize my dorm room once again....living on campus...struggling through certain classes....the unknown of your future...the mystery of men....giving your heart away, etc. And she doesn't stop there!!! Thankfully, I just got my hands on Book 2 entitled "Summer Snow," which is a continuation of the first. I cannot wait to dig in!!!!

I have read offerings from debut authors before, and I have to say I couldn't find a single clue that indicated Nicole had never published before. After the Leaves Fall flowed very nicely from chapter to chapter and had just the right amount of "unknown and suspense." This book would gladly receive my "no money back" guarantee. :)

**PS- I just want you to know I am aware this post is not quality writing by the Hesterwoman. In the midst of trying to write this, I have had to break up an argument between my girls and answer my youngest's many questions about kitty liter. I hope you can accept my apologies. :)

Jon and Kate plus 8= Nagging Wife

2008-12-09T09:25:00.003-05:00

Maybe it's just me. But I cannot watch Jon and Kate plus 8. I cannot handle how demeaning Kate is to her husband. Am I alone in my observations?? I gave the show a shot a few years ago before it became the "sensation" it is today. I think it was coming on after one of the Hesterfamily's favorites, "Little People, Big World", so we just continued watching. I felt increasingly uncomfortable and uneasy in the ways I saw Kate interact with Jon. She seemed so hard on him...so belittling. I know it must be incredibly difficult to raise 8 kids. I mean, I only have two, and there are days when I just feel so very inept. But I couldn't bring myself to watch it again, because as a woman, I have to keep myself in check in the Respect, Honor, and Value Department of my marriage. Authentically speaking, viewing a relationship like Jon and Kate's isn't healthy for me. I was Kate (minus 8) in the formative years of our marriage and I caused a lot of damage. Being around that behavior is just too much of a temptation, and my husband doesn't deserve it. We both thrive in our relationship together when Proverbs 27:15 is not present. Been there...caused destruction with that.

I noticed recently that Zondervan just published an autobiography of sorts from the famous 10 pack. I have to admit I was surprised at this. Not that Zondervan would promote such a book, but that Kate would want them to. As much as this pains me to say...and I will appear very judgmental for doing so (I hate this, I am so sorry!!)...but I had no idea that Kate was a Christian. I didn't see anything resembling Christ in her relationship with Jon. Yes...I know it is TV....I know that I haven't followed it at all, so I should be keeping these thoughts to myself, even dismissing them, if you will. Yet, it seems like there should just be some hint of Christ between the two of them. Maybe TLC cuts out all the positive things Kate says about Jon. Maybe their relationship is a lot more interesting when there is disrespect and negative comments made. And I must admit that I don't know much about Jon. Maybe he is equally at fault. Maybe he is exactly that way to her and they both need to work on it. Since it has been so long since I have watched it, maybe her attitude toward him has improved. Maybe she is learning to love and respect him as the head of her incredibly large household. And just maybe I am looking at this too literally. After all, it is simply just a television show, right?? Or is it??

I think as women, this is an area in our lives that is soooooo weak. For some sinful reason, we can be naturally contentious, inherently belligerent when it comes to interacting with husbands. We can be so devoid of love and honor. We have no idea what it is like to listen to us day after day, week after week, year after year if we speak disparaging words consistently to our men. Then we wonder why they don't receive us like we want to be received...we question why they aren't "Knight in Shining Armor-like"....we demand better treatment all the while reciprocating their attempts with more combative and hostile words.

Do I get this right all the time?? Absolutely not. Do I let Gregg and God down by reverting back to my old ways? Sometimes, yes. But I will tell you that my relationship with Gregg is more spiritually intense (good thing), my love for him is deeper, and my heart for him is more grace-filled, since I got the message that God was so desperately trying to communicate to me in 1 Corinthians 13:4. And as a result, Gregg's love for me is completely different as well. I am telling you with all sincerity, if you are struggling with this in your marriage, God wants to help. He wants to teach you what it means to be your husband's cheerleader, his encourager, his Number #1 fan, his safe place of refuge after a really hard day. You cannot imagine the difference it will make in your life. Your marriage will not look the same. It will change so much for the better, it will be hard for you to remember what it was like before. You, your husband, and God will rejoice in the newness!!! It feels wonderful!! Just try it!!

Maybe, I need to give Kate another chance. Maybe I have been too hard on her. Maybe you can relate just a little of what I have talked about today. If so, know that I have been there, and I am cheering you on as you reevaluate how you love your husband. Think of it like this, "You and Hubby plus God= Great Marriage." Now that is a show I would love to see on TLC!!!

We interrupt this program to let you know that......

2008-12-08T12:14:00.003-05:00

The Hesterwoman has parked herself firmly on "Writer's Block." Please send a tow truck, a policeman, a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, or something!!!! Let's move her on out of there!!! She's taking up too much space!!

It's a beaut, Clark!!!"

2008-12-02T09:40:00.003-05:00

Gregg and I have very limited experience when it comes to cooking a turkey, but this Thanksgiving we were able to pull it off quite nicely, I think. But I must admit I had visions of this scene from Christmas Vacation, before we pulled the turkey out of the oven.

By the way, my sister and I were just talking the other day about this movie and how funny it still is, even after seeing it, oh say, 57 times. It has become a contemporary Christmas classic....maybe not the same caliber as "It's a Wonderful life"...but pretty darn close.

A hunger for the "Old America"

2008-12-01T12:07:00.002-05:00

With the recent soundtrack of "hope" and "change" in our country and the quest for a "New America," I must be among the minority who would prefer a restoration of the "Old America"- a time of drug store soda fountains, fishing in the old watering hole, barber shops, playing baseball in the street, riding your bike without a helmet, Boy Scouts, family picnics, and playing checkers with your next door neighbor. My heart longs for a simpler time of life, the one in which my parents and grandparents unknowingly enjoyed. But I know that will never be. My girls will never know what it is like to ride your bike to the local grocery store without fear of being abducted. They won't know the joys their daddy had as a child when he was gone for hours upon hours, just fishing by himself at the village pond. But they did get a sampling of life in the "good old days," when we visited the Ohio Historical Society's traveling exhibit of "Norman Rockwell's America" this past weekend.

We had the unique pleasure of walking through 15 life-like re-creations of some of Rockwell's most famous paintings from the Saturday Evening Post. In amongst the displays, the Society had people dressed up in period costumes to help enhance the exhibit's "realness," and add life to the ongoing story in which Rockwell is so famous for communicating through his art work.

At the end of the exhibit, we were lead to a room with framed replicas of all the covers Rockwell did for the Post. This was incredibly moving. I gazed at the pictures, while standing near my Dad, step-mom Linda, and my Grandma. I knew they were able to identify with the images they were seeing. Those images were taking them back to a place in time which was very familiar to them. My eyes filled with tears at a couple of the paintings. I wondered if they prompted emotion out of others as they did with me.

I'm curious if Norman Rockwell ever realized the contribution he was making to our culture with each painting he created. Did he know that his work would be used as evidence that our lives as Americans were once simplified and somewhat effortless? I am grateful for the opportunity to expose the girls to such a country as this once was....even if they find it difficult to find traces of unpretentious living in the Twenty-First Century.

A Well-spring of tears in the Desert of Ziph

2008-11-30T14:26:00.005-05:00

There are many times I have been brought to tears. Movies, commercials, serious situations, watching people walk through painful times, experiencing my own seasons of heartache. It is in my very nature to be weepy. And it is not always dispiriting things that bring out the urge in me. Times of rejoicing, celebrating victories, appreciation for people and God's provision can produce the same reaction within me. I am a complex being, created in the image of God. But as much as tears are a common part of who I am, I don't think I have ever been brought to tears by the Word of God. Is that a mark against my value of the Word, and how I am allowing it to penetrate my life?? I don't know. I just know that as I spent time in His Word the other day, I was startled by the reaction I had. Absorbed in what I was reading, I was startled by the feeling of unexpected tears on my face. For just a moment, I realized that God was sharing something with me that my heart needed to hear, and I was so moved by how it suddenly soothed my soul. Here is the scripture I was studying that day:

13 So David and his men, about six hundred in number, left Keilah and kept moving from place to place. When Saul was told that David had escaped from Keilah, he did not go there.
14 David stayed in the desert strongholds and in the hills of the Desert of Ziph. Day after day Saul searched for him, but God did not give David into his hands.

15 While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. 16 And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. 17 "Don't be afraid," he said. "My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this." 18 The two of them made a covenant before the LORD. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh.

1 Samuel 23:13-15

The words "helped him find strength in God" moved me so. As I felt the tears roll down my face, I heard the faintest sound of them hitting the collar of my shirt. The Word of God was producing emotion out of me. All this running David had to do from town to town, just to stay one step ahead of Saul. All the fear, all the unknown, all the visions of what it would be like if Saul actually got to him. The fatigue, the expelling of energy necessary to hold on to faith, the heartfelt cries of frustration to God, more fatigue. And then Jonathan shows up to "help him find strength in God." Not to remind him that he needed more faith, not that he needed to be more spiritual, not that he needed to seek God more, not that he was doing this thing wrong and that thing wrong. He came there to HELP!!!!!! Let me repeat. He came there to HELP!!!!!! Oh, to have someone walk along side you at just the right moment when all seems lost and remind you to "not be afraid." To speak truth over your life. To understand the situation for what it is, and to be aware that more strength would be needed at this time. How available Jonathan was!! How perceptive!! How selfless!!! It blows me away. I am near tears again!!!!

So with anything I read that floats amidst the neurons of my brain and hangs out in my heart for a while, I had to share this with Gregg. This was just too moving to keep to myself. Too challenging to leave alone. In the midst of having your life pursued with the strong possibility of death, Jonathan knew and understood how taxing...how draining this continued running from evil had to be on David. He was perceptive enough to feel it too. Gregg and I discussed what it means to be a Jonathan for someone. We also asked ourselves two questions:

1) How are we "Jonathan-like" in other's lives? Do we stand along side someone and help them find strength in God when the situation they are in has potentially drained them spiritually, emotionally, and physically? Are we listening to God's heart promptings, leading us to those that need it?

2) Are we open to being ministered to ourselves in a "Jonathan-like" way? Do we let people know when we are need someone to help us find strength in God when our tap is running low?

I wonder if you are aware of current "Jonathans" in your life right now? Who is walking along side of you, just simply to help you find strength in God when you need it most?

From the Mixed-up Chronicles of "BAD MOM"

2008-11-24T08:19:00.005-05:00

It is only Monday morning, the beginning of a new week, and I have already securely pinned on the self imposed title of "Bad Mom" today. How I disdain bearing the title this early in the week!!!! I can handle it on a Wednesday if I have to....don't bat an eye if I slip it on Friday, but to don the title at this fresh point in the calendar rotation, I feel like I am dubiously sporting a Scarlet "B". In simple terms, I hate when I let my girls down. I get frustrated when I can't blame my failures on anybody but me. And that is where I am at this morning. The burden falls squarely here. This is where the proverbial buck stops.

I was supposed to get Faith up early to study for an English test. She was working on Pre-Algebra last night with Gregg and when it was my turn to take over, Faith was too spent and went to bed. I was secretly relieved. I am much better in the morning anyway. We could work on it then. This is the point in the story when "BAD MOM" makes her less than royal appearance. Instead of getting her up early, I spent time cuddling with Hopie...and praying with God. I know it sounds all sweet and spiritual...but I should have gotten my lazy cheeks off the couch. When I finally did get her up to study, we had about 30 minutes to pack it all in. She was stressed and I let her down. In the spare minutes we had, I tried to stuff "Schoolhouse Rock" into her brain, by having her sit and watch "Lolly, Lolly, Lolly get your adverbs here" over and over again on DVD. It was clear to me in just my few minutes of assessment, that adverbs were going to give her a run for her money on this test. She could have gotten so mad at me....but she didn't. I just knew I had disappointed her greatly, and therefore disappointed myself.

So here I sit at my computer wishing so desperately that I could ask for her forgiveness once again. Gregg will be disappointed with me too. That is a conversation I will have to save for later. We are a team...the Hesterfamily. And this player didn't carry her weight this morning. I didn't contribute to a win. I missed the goal...made a basket for the wrong team (actually did this once)...committed a penalty that set my team back. Hopefully, there will be someone standing on the sidelines with a blanket of grace to wrap around me and a mercy-filled bottle of Gatorade in hand. That is what I feel like I need the most right now. Hopefully, I have extended enough grace to my baby over the years that she knows how to give it right back to "Bad Mom." Our team could just volley that ball back and forth to one another. Guaranteed it will be needed for another day...another player.

"Things" that are "overdue"

2008-11-23T05:51:00.002-05:00

No one likes the word "overdue"....overdue bills, overdue books, overdue pregnancies, overdue notices, overdue recognition, overdue parking tickets, etc. But yesterday, while playing the game "Things" with some friends, I realized that I must have been long overdue in the laugh department, because I was laughing myself silly. It was so obvious. You know what I am talking about. It is that deeply buried, almost embarrassing laugh that comes from the recesses of your stomach and simply cannot be contained. It's the kind of laugh where you could fall out of your seat, roll around on the floor holding your aching side in a fit of hysteria, and still have it in you for more. Thankfully, I was with friends. They pardon this kind of behavior out of you...among other things. I don't need to throw in a disclaimer of why I so needed to laugh like this. They don't need a long explanation of why I was obviously "overdue" in the laugh department. They just accept it for what it is....carelessly unabashed fits of cackling...and they still love me afterwards.

Are you "overdue" in the laughter department??? Do you need to snort (someone did yesterday, and it wasn't me!!) , howl, or shriek with utter abandonment???? Then, I would suggest running to Target (who needs an excuse for that?), grab the game Things, and invite some friends over. Give them the gift of mirth and merriment. They probably need it too.

GO BUCKS!!!!!!

2008-11-22T05:44:00.004-05:00

***With apologies to all my family members in Michigan. I still love you. It's nothing personal. :)

Little Birdy....

2008-11-21T05:27:00.002-05:00

A Classic Thanksgiving "dish" for this special holiday. It is a must have for everyone's table. :)

Out into the cool of the morning strolls The Pretender

2008-11-20T16:52:00.005-05:00

Last Sunday, we were driving to church when the first snow flakes began to reintroduce themselves to the skies of Ohio. There is something innocent and pure about the first snowfall. In November, people don't react as harshly to snow as they do in March or April. Everyone seems to give it a hospitable "hello" and a resounding "welcome back".... at least for the time being.

While looking out the window at the falling snow, Faith commented that we probably wouldn't have school the next day. Gregg and I looked at each other with extreme pessimism and collectively exchanged, "Oh yes you will. You already had two days off this year because of the wind storm. There's no way they are going to give you the day off tomorrow just because a few flakes are falling from the sky." As if our reply was much more than she bargained for, she hastily replied, "What's wrong with you guys? Can't you ever pretend anymore?" We looked at each other with a "Let me...oh please let me" expression on our faces, knowing how desperately each of us wanted to answer the question. But Gregg's words got out of the gate more rapidly than mine could. "No, Faith, we can't pretend anymore. We don't know how. We live in too much reality right now." I knew what he was referring to and I knew it would be years before she would ever understand how much an adult sometimes longs to return to the land of make believe and pretending. The boat left the pier long ago and has no instrumentation to return. That is just the way life is.

Faith's question echoed in my mind for a few days afterward. "Can't you ever pretend anymore??" I don't know. I guess I can't. I have forgotten how. What used to be so second nature when I was a kid has been replaced by the weight of reality. It's hard to believe I was ever proficient at pretending. There is very little trace of it now.

It's funny that Faith was the one to call us on the carpet about pretending. Unfortunately for her (and maybe for all of us too), her days of pretending are downright over. Being a newly christened teenager, with each day that passes, reality inches its way closer and closer to her. Hopie still has a few years left. But pretty soon the Hesterhouse will be filled with reality instead of sprinklings of pretenders here and there. I don't like the thought of that. In all "reality," I don't like that reality.

I think the next time it starts snowing, and the girls are hopeful of a potential snow day, I should jump aboard their "pretending bandwagon." How much harm does it really cause to be more optimistic? I think that is something I need to work on. Optimism is not the opposite of reality. It is just a better, healthier way of looking at things. It's the truth. I'm not pretending.

The Spice of Life

2008-11-18T09:41:00.004-05:00

Trying to find a specific spice at the grocery store can seem like searching for a needle in a haystack at times. The search goes way beyond "parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme." You can stand before the spices for minutes upon minutes and still not find exactly what is on your grocery list. There has to be a better way of organizing them. That is exactly what I was thinking when I saw Steve staring blankly before the spices as well.

Grocery stores and deep conversations with customers seem to go hand and hand for me at times. I never know with whom or how I am going to strike up a conversation while I am there. When I saw Steve, a man in his 50's, gazing at the spices, I figured he was probably struggling to find something his wife had sent him in for. I asked him what he was looking for and mentioned how difficult it is to locate just the right spice these days. While searching for Celery Seed, he told me he was making stuffing this year for Thanksgiving, and how important this seasoning was for his recipe. I shared with him what a horrible cook I am, and how I have never made dressing in my life....that is outside of Stove Top, but I wasn't sure that really counted. He smiled and said how much he enjoyed cooking. Even did most of the cooking while his wife was still alive. Oh no...here I am talking about trivial things like spice placement, and he is preparing to celebrate Thanksgiving without his wife. He didn't seem to be that offended by my presence...wasn't giving me any cues to "get lost," so I decided to spend more time with him:

Me: How long has she been gone?

Steve: Since July 2007

Me: Was it cancer?

Steve: Yes, it was.

Me: I hate cancer. I am tired of it.

Steve: Do you work in the medical field?

Me: No, I don't. But I feel like it is all around me right now. I sub at my girls' school, and our art teacher has breast cancer. She is a friend of mine. Hard to see her go through it. She has been an incredible inspiration. It just makes me long for heaven, where all sickness will seize. You know what I mean?

Steve: I guess. I don't know. Do you really think so?

Me: Absolutely. I am looking forward to it.

Steve: She fought a good fight. A two year battle really.

Me: How long were you married? Do you have kids?

Steve: No. We were married for 7 years. (Tears begin forming in his eyes.)

Me: 7 wonderful years. I am so glad you had that together.

Steve: Hospice was incredible. They gave us the opportunity to just focus on the last days together, without worrying about everything else. I wish we had called them sooner, but my wife didn't want us to. I think she felt like that would be acknowledging that this was the end. But they did everything from walk the dog to getting her meds..and everything in between.

We talked for a little while longer. He handed me his card and told me about his business in Groveport. I apologized to him about the noise he must hear from my husband's plane everyday. He said he didn't mind, and how much he enjoyed watching them fly over. He thanked me for stopping to help him with the spices (help with which he didn't really need) and I wished God's blessings upon him. And then our conversation was over.

Of course, I spent the rest of my weaving in and out of aisles in a daze. I just couldn't get Steve's story out of my mind. I didn't anticipate this conversation as I was grabbing my cart and heading into the store earlier. I just never know what God is going to do while I am searching for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese or maybe Kellogg's Cocoa Krispies. I just know that when He does place a person in my life, I am incredibly honored and humbled.

Did I say anything that would lead Steve to know Christ personally? No. Unfortunately, I am not very good at that. Maybe I am just simply a seed planter...which doesn't allow me the privilege of celebrating someone who now knows Christ as their personal Savior. That's ok. I know God in all His wisdom knows exactly what is needed, when it is needed. I don't have to worry about those things. But I do need to pray for the person whom God has given me the opportunity to connect with, and be grateful for the time I had with him/her. And honestly, from my heart, I am so glad I got to spend some time with Steve among the spices...to have him share with me how much he loved his wife. Maybe that was something God knew Steve needed to do that day....talk about his wife.

It's possible there really isn't anything wrong with Meijer's spice organization. I mean, if it wasn't so awful, I wouldn't have stopped to talk with Steve. But I can tell you I will never walk by those spices again and not think of him and pray he will find God's comfort amongst his grieving. I know God's heart...and I know He wants desperately to give him that. I hope he finds Him.

Blessings to you, Steve and Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Sometimes I wonder.......

2008-11-17T06:21:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I wonder:

1) Who reads my blog from Akron, OH?

2) Who really eats asparagus?

3) Who reads my blog from Noblesville, IN?

4) Why I can get my books back to the library on time?

5) Who reads my blog from Powell, OH?

6) Why my cats go crazy, and I mean CRAZY for cottage cheese?

7) Who reads my blog from San Luis Obispo, CA?

8) Why the dirty laundry always grows immediately after I finish it?

9) Who reads my blog from Stow, Massachusetts?

10) Why we already have snow on the ground this morning?

A Hesterfamily Christmas

2008-11-16T06:33:00.003-05:00

I have already started decorating our guest bedroom for Christmas. A little early, I know...but I am just curious as to what decorations I already have to work with, and whether I might need a few things from Target to get me by. We are having our family Christmas here this year, and I am so excited about it!!!

So, I had to take a picture of our kitten Sophie as she helped me with some of the decorating. She is pretty as a picture...or maybe a Christmas card.

More "firsts" for everything

2008-11-15T07:43:00.003-05:00

In keeping with the "firsts for everything" theme, last night my husband finally legitimize our marriage, after 17 years of co-habitating...not to mention the births of our two girls. It seems that while I was sleeping, Gregg had a moral moment and decided that enough was enough. It was time to make it official. So, he went on FACEBOOK, and proclaimed to the whole world that he honestly loved me and that we are now married. WHAT A RELIEF!!!! I cannot tell you how much this means to me. Long ago, I had lost hope that this would ever happen. But when I finally stopped pestering him about it, I guess he decide that I was marriage material for him. It feels good. Now I can walk around with my head up high knowing that my man wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Although....what if I am just a "starter wife????" What if he is just using me for financial gain? Times are hard for everyone now economically. At least that is what MSNBC is always saying. (I can't stand MSNBC!) Oh why, oh why, didn't I sign a prenup??????

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I've noticed over the years that most couples have a TV show they love to watch together, you know, like LOST or HEROES, or something like that. Gregg and I have never had this. I am not sure why. I guess it is because he loves to watch war movies and I like to watch TV Land. He isn't into vintage TV (Oh, the horror!)...and I can't stand old black and whites with airplanes in them. In this crucial category of marriage, we are not a match made in heaven. But that all changed when we watched ABC's Life on Mars!! We love this show....both of us!!!!! We get so excited when we get the blanket out...lay down on the couch, and command the DVR to bring up "our show." Can you feel the love???? No more embarrassment. No more judgment by those in marriages who have an "our show." We now join the ranks of those whose marriages are completely fulfilling...completely compatible. We are now one and it is all thanks to the "boob tube." (Why did people once call it that? I don't get it.) We now know what we were missing as a couple. As long as Life on Mars doesn't get the ax, all is well in Hesterland.

Love, Grandpa-----the Old Vet

2008-11-12T09:12:00.006-05:00

You've heard people often say "There is a first for everything." Usually said with a sarcastic tone, the statement gives hint to how much the person wished this "first" never happened in their life. But today, I whispered these words to myself with complete amazement and joy. You see, my "first for everything" is an email I received today from my 85 year old Grandpa. Let me say that again... I RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM MY GRANDPA!!! To read words from his heart and his mind is such a rare gift to me. He took the time to reply to an email I sent him yesterday thanking him for his service to our country. His fingers touched the keyboard. His eyes glanced at the screen to make sure his "i's were dotted and his t's were crossed." He formulated words and sentences in his head to say to me. I never expected it. I never dreamt of a reply. But there the words sat on my screen...a modern day transaction of dialog between two different generations. What priceless value it has to me!!!!

Hopie had a Patriotic Celebration at school yesterday for Veteran's Day. All elementary students wore a red, white, or blue shirt to participate in the festivities. In advance, the school asked for pictures of vets we had in our family. I searched all over the house looking for my grandparent's wedding picture. It is the only picture I have of my grandpa in his Navy uniform. He is incredibly handsome in that picture. And I am not just saying that out of pride for him. He truly was a "hot number." You can just tell. I was so frustrated when I couldn't come upon the picture. Sure, I could have called my grandparents, asked them to send me a copy. But that would have taken too much time. How I wish I could have shared that proud man's picture with our elementary students! They may have looked at it and counted it as just another old picture. I don't blame them. It takes us so long to develop a true appreciation for the sacrifices of a veteran. I am even married to one and I take the price for granted. I wish we could be better than that. I wish we were beyond the instant patriotism that stems simply from occasionally hearing Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA." I wish it was still in our blood...part of our heritage as Americans. Instead, we have become proficient in the practice of slandering our leaders, our government, and our country. We have come so far....in the wrong direction. Oh, to have a clear understanding and untainted view of what it means to be truly patriotic and proud to be an American!!!!

"I remember when we were in school and at ll o'clock, we had to stand and be "silent" for a minute. Sure they don't do anything like that now.
Hope everything okay w/you and family."
Love, Grandpa-----the old Vet

Living in CAPS

2008-11-10T10:42:00.005-05:00

I've had an aversion to "at home" parties for some time now. When my girls were small and with me all the time, I lived for the handwritten postcard in the mail inviting me to the many possibilities of tasting simply, or pampering the chef. I loved the opportunity to get out of the house and connect with other women. It was more than helping a friend earn money for her party, it was a chance to live outside the world of Sesame Street and Blue's Clues for just an evening. It was a win-win for both of us.

As life continued and my time with the girls became less and less, my willingness to "give up an evening" wasn't all it was cracked up to be anymore. I didn't need the break from the mundane as much, and the products being offered just didn't seem to match the value of a stress-free night at home. The abundance of invitations dwindled as much as my need to go. I cannot remember the last time I have gone to a party. Could be as many as 4 years ago. That was before I heard about this......

A friend of mine shared this new concept with me the other day, and I was absolutely giddy when I heard the words "trendy and hip" used to describe this product in the same sentence. I had to share the idea with my sister. I called her right away. She gets just as giddy as I do with those "magic" words. I knew she would be all over this product. But I really didn't know HOW all over it she would be. I just didn't know how to describe it to her. All I could do is tell her to look at the website. And the rest will be history.

Check it out for yourself: http://angelahunn.uppercaseliving.net

Extreme Blog Makeover

2008-11-09T17:48:00.000-05:00

I have made some changes to my blog this week. Sometimes I get bored with the look of my blog, and want to make it more aesthetically pleasing. Just like Faith loves to move the furniture around in her bedroom....so must I change some things around on my blog. It is critically important. :)

1) New blog background- Gregg thinks it is too busy. Sister can't see it on her computer for some reason. Hopie thinks it's cool. You win some, you lose some. If only the election had been this easy.

2) Comments viewed on the side of blog- Nice touch, but will it prohibit people from making comments?? Hope not.

3) Live feed- Indicates where viewers of the blog are when looking at the site. This is pretty cool, I think.

Although these changes were very easy to implement, I was pretty proud I could do it myself. Doesn't take much, does it????

When you're looking for a friend to "have your back"

2008-11-08T14:04:00.002-05:00

Not to belabor the topic of Beth Moore's David Study, but she asked some poignant questions today regarding friendship....and I was just wondering where others might be on this subject. Gregg and I picked through these questions while on our romantic rendezvous this weekend, but it is always interesting to hear another perspective as well. Maybe these are thoughts you have never pondered before. Maybe this isn't a subject that stays on your cranial radar very often. Or maybe this might spark something within you, that you didn't realize you were desiring for yourself.

The questions in the study preceded scripture that highlighted the relationship between David and Jonathan. As I read through this set of scripture once again, I was amazed at the level of deep friendship between these two men, and wondered just how many women (who stereotypically seem to be more friendship-minded than men) could identify whole-heartedly with its characteristics.

While acknowledging David and Jonathan's relationship was very uncommon, Beth Moore shares 3 evidences of what made it that way:

1) Uncommon friends can speak their minds without fear.
2) Uncommon friends can share their hearts without shame.
3) Uncommon friends can stay close even at a distance.

In each criteria, in classic BM form, she discusses what made their friendship so uncommon. Wish I had room to share all that with you. It certainly would add more depth to the evidence. But her most thought provoking questions were as follows:

How far along are you in being able to embody these three great characteristics of friendship?

What do you think might be standing in your way of experiencing the full blessing of them? (This is my favorite question. This is the one I am most curious about.)

Wondering what you think.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

When a friend no longer "has your back"

2008-11-07T09:40:00.004-05:00

I am really enjoying my Beth Moore study with David. Each day, I feel like I am learning something different and interesting that I hadn't really thought of before. I value that about Beth Moore. It is my favorite thing about her. God uses her to bring out the color, dimension, and life of His Word. Under her teaching, you are left with an unquenchable need to continue reading the Word...as if she leaves you with a biblical cliffhanger each day, and she isn't even The Author of The Book. This study is especially meaningful to me as Gregg is doing it too...just a few days behind me. It's fun for me to discuss this with him.

Today, as I plug along through my 90 day journey, I was reading about Saul trying to kill David. Saul's jealousy overtook his rationality (although there is evidence throughout 1 Samuel which shows he didn't have much), and he made several attempts to end David's life...even when his own daughter was married to him. As I read the scene where Saul tries to pin David to the wall with a spear, I wondered if David ever wondered what happened to his relationship with Saul. Back in 1 Samuel 16:21, we learn that "David came to Saul and entered his service. Saul liked him very much, and David became one of his armor-bearers." Not only that but Saul was "pleased" with him. He found "relief from the evil spirit" when David was around. David's presence in his life was a blessing. He added much to Saul's life.

So, what a difference a few chapters in the Bible make!!! By 1 Samuel 19, Saul and David's relationship has no evidence of what it used to be. Now Saul is running around with spears, hunting down David, while this particular son of Jesse is running for his life!! And we aren't even mentioning how taxiing this unhealthy relationship with his now father-in-law had to be on David's marriage to Michal. Thankfully for David in this case, her allegiance to her man took precedence over honoring her father.

This story leads me to think about the relationships we have in our lives. How many times do we allow our once healthy relationships to turn sour....where they almost become unrecognizable to us? We may know we are at an unhealthy juncture...but we are so enraged with sin, we don't have the capacity to remember what drew us to the person in the first place-like in Saul's situation with David. Now, sometimes relationships change due to circumstances in our lives. But when "jealousy, spears, and evil spirits" come into play, then it is obvious you have something you need to address with one another. While David was running away from Saul, I just wondered if he ever thought "What happened to us, Saul???" or maybe "I know you once 'had my back' Saul, but this is ridiculous!"

So...I am left pondering Saul once again. I do see many similarities with Saul and myself. I don't want to. He just is sooooo good at showing his humanness...and of course, highlighting his behavior due to his own personal evil spirit. I want to be better about loyalty, allegiance, and over all commitment than Saul. I want to contribute to relationships in my life without carrying a spear in hand. I want to live out my relationships like Christ. And I want to receive the forgiveness of Him and others when I fail.

Things I want for Christmas

2008-11-06T10:05:00.004-05:00

Hobby Lobby has had their Christmas stuff out since June. Target and Meijer just hopped on the band wagon last weekend, as soon as Halloween was over. Being amongst all the ornaments, trees, and wrapping paper makes me want to sit on Santa's knee (if he can take the weight) and share with him what I will have on my Christmas list this year. It is a stretch from my normal "candles, Bath and Body Works, and TJ MAXX gift card" kind of list. It is a list from the heart. Impossible for Santa to deliver in his sleigh. Not impossible for God...although, thankfully, His gift-giving isn't limited to just December 25. The list is as follows:

1) A good authentic conversation with a friend. One that leaves you both exhilarated and exhausted at the same time. Been a while since I have had one of those. I eat those up...but it's been so long, my conversational bones are starting to show. Kind of gross, I know, but it's true.

2) To impact the life of someone who wants to know more about Christ. Giving each day to God with the expectation of Him using me right then and there.

3) One day lived without my sinful nature. That would be a gift to others as well. :) Oh, glorious day!

4) A way to let people know how much I truly love them...appreciate them. And have them receive it willingly. Talking about a little giving and taking here.

5) More time spent with all my grandparents. More conversations...more hugs...more opportunities to say thank you and I love you.

6) One body, one spirit amongst believers. Unity...plain and simple.

7) To bring encouraging words and a hug to someone who truly needs it. At the right time, and the right place.

8) To know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am doing all I can to invest in the lives of my girls. Am I helping them to develop into the future women God wants them to be? Am I laying the proper "groundwork?"

9) To hold my dad's hand. To let him know I am never too old to need him in my life. To share with him my heart on so many things.

10) To have the things that God desires me to have. To listen to His voice. To have wisdom...to be without distraction...to be close to Him.

I can just imagine the look on Santa's face as I step away from him after sharing my list. Whew!! What happened to Barbie and Fisher-Price toys???Bet he is wishing he never asked the question "And what do you want this year from Santa, little girl???"

Scandal in the Hesterhouse

2008-11-06T05:10:00.005-05:00

I'm meeting a man in a hotel this weekend. He is a mysterious man and one whom I long to sneak away with. I have thought about him all week....my mind distracted by images of spending time with him. I talk openly about him with my husband. He knows all about him. He realizes I am going to see him, and there is nothing he can do to stop it. He is well aware that my thoughts have been centered around my rendezvous this weekend. He notices the smile on my face...the twinkle in my eye. I just can't hide it anymore.

The busyness of our lives has gotten in the way of feeling connected with my husband. We don't talk like we used to...spend much uninterrupted time together. So many things have gotten in the way of that. It's just not working anymore. It's what forces me to throw my inhibitions aside. It's why I just have to get away with the other man. I just feel so "alive" when I am with him.

I know others may judge me...but I don't care. They don't understand what draws me to this man. He is sensitive, caring. He listens to me. Makes me feel important, valuable. When we are alone, there is no one else in the world but us. Chaos could ensue around us, candidates could be elected whom we didn't necessarily vote for, gas prices could fall to $1.91 and we wouldn't notice. We are just that into each other.

If I could sneak away with this man more often, I would in a heartbeat. There is never enough time to be with him. There are so many "hoops" we must jump through to see one another. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, when my thoughts are all about him, I will evade my daily duties for the moment and text him a message for his eyes only. No one else has to know. My heart leaps when I hear my cell "chime" with announcement that I have received something back from him. It gives me sweet butterflies in my stomach.

I'm not stupid. I know this weekend won't last forever. I know that I will return to my cluttered calendar life once again....this "albatross" that keeps me from my love. In our encounter this weekend, I will ask him...beg him..."When can we see each other again?? This is just so hard. I don't know how much longer I can be without you." He will tell me that I have to be patient, let him get his life in order, remind me how much he is worth the wait. I will concede my emotions for yet another time...and hope beyond hope that we will be with one another again soon. I must be incredibly grateful for the time we have had together, and cling to the memories. And for a moment I will feel a kinship with Bill Shakespeare himself as he so eloquently penned the words of my heart over 400 years ago.... "Parting is such sweet sorrow."

**Side note- Just to clarify...this "other man" is my husband. :) After Gregg read this, he thought it would be important to mention this....just in case you had any doubt. :)

Keen on the Kindle?

2008-10-30T10:55:00.008-04:00

Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job, so I want to be a "kindle"back writer,
"Kindle"back writer.
"Kindle"back writer...writer....writer.

-The Beatles

OK....I hate to admit this....but Oprah is on my TiVo schedule. Save your hate mail for later. :) I know I am an abomination to all that is pure and holy. But seriously, I don't watch everything that she has on. In fact, most of it, I just simply delete. I can tell by the title description of the show that it is something I just don't need in my brain, if you know what I mean. But earlier in the week, she had on her "Must Have Gadget Show" and because she introduced me to the wonder of SPANX, I just had to watch.

Much to the dismay of all paperback and hardback publishing companies, Oprah's praise for the "gadget of all gadgets" right now is the KINDLE. A kindle is a electronic device where you download all of your books onto it, instead of buying a paper version. You can buy the books in kindle form off of Amazon.com and they are apparently cheaper than their paper counterpart. It can hold up to 200 books as long as they are not illustrated. Imagine removing 200 books from the square footage of your home!!! Now that would really clear off the dusty bookshelves of the Hesterhome!!!!

Here is the Wikipedia definition of the Kindle for those electronic gurus in my audience who just couldn't stand my elementary description of the gadget:

Kindle is an e-book reader—an embedded system for reading electronic books (e-books)—launched in the United States by prominent online bookseller Amazon.com in November 2007. It uses an electronic paper display, reads the proprietary Kindle (AZW) format, and downloads content over Amazon Whispernet, which uses the Sprint EVDO network. (I like mine much better. :)

Since I have now decided I don't want an iphone for my pending 40th, I was wondering if I might like the Kindle instead. It does take my love for books to a whole new level. However, I don't know a single person I could ask who happens to have one (besides Oprah that is, and we aren't that close). Yet, something in me says "no" to the Kindle. I enjoy my trips to the library too much, and I love getting to check out the likability of books for free. It is only those dreaded overdue fees that I could do without. Besides, having the feeling of a new book in my hand is such a thrill for me. Could I really do without the intoxication of the "new book smell" just for the sake of being "hip" with a Kindle?? At this point, I think not. I am completely content with my books the way they are. Guess that makes me adverse to new technology...but what do you expect?? I am old. I am going to be 40.

It's a thousand pages, give or take a few,
I'll be writing more in a week or two.
I can make it longer if you like the style,
I can change it round and I want to be a "kindle"back writer,
"Kindle"back writer

TLC's Real Simple is simply Real Complicated

2008-10-27T10:10:00.004-04:00

Faith and I enjoyed a much needed break from 7th grade studying and homework yesterday afternoon, and planted ourselves squarely on the couch, as we got reacquainted with the DVR. I had read that the magazine "Real Simple" was premiering a new show on TLC, having to do with creative ideas on how to keep your life stress-free and organized. I once had a subscription to the magazine (expensive as it is), and enjoyed some of the unique ideas they share to eliminate clutter in the home, etc. I was excited in seeing what the show had to offer and how close it would resemble its paper counterpart.

Disappointment with the show hit me right off the bat. The opening segment shows a bunch of well groomed, not "real simple" people sitting on a couch reviewing who their new "victim", oops, I mean project is going to be. In the unfortunate likeness of "Extreme Home Makeover," the viewer is then thrusted into a mini van with these not so simple people as they continually discuss what is wrong with their "project's" life, and what they are going to do to fix it.

The subject of the show is a 40 year old married woman living in California. She has two kids under the age of 3 and she works full time. For some reason, she is stressed out. (OF COURSE SHE IS!!!!!) The RS team comes in to attack every area of her life....her mental state, her closet and what she wears, her kitchen and what she cooks, etc. They judge her for the ways in which she is handling the pressures of her life. They mock her stress level by making fun of her clothes. They laugh at the frozen food she serves her family at night. And above all else, they can't understand why she is not "opening up to them" about her life. So, they intend to forcefully make their way "in," by tricking her into playing Real Simple games that add even more stress to her complex world (i.e. making her plan a party with an hour's notice, and testing her ability to pick out a complete outfit from a rack of unfamiliar clothing in less than 3 minutes.) As Faith and I sat in utter amazement, we felt such pity for the woman. We wondered if she thought for a moment, "This is not what I signed up for. This is not making my life Real Simple."

I am going to keep "Real Simple" on the DVR schedule for a few more episodes. I want to cut the producers some slack and see if they can adjust the error of their ways. If the show continues to be a berating of those that are just "simply" asking for some "simplification" of their lives, I am done with it. It really wasn't what I was expecting it to be anyway.

The Family Secret

2008-10-25T04:43:00.004-04:00

Easy-Off Oven Cleaner came over for a visit on Thursday, just as my Mom and G'pa Dan were heading this way from Michigan. So did Lime Away Shower Cleaner... along with a few squirts of Tilex in those really unmentionable places. Coincidental??? Hardly!!! You see, the big dogs of scrubbing, scouring, AND purification reemerge when my mom comes for a stay. They probably haven't been out since the last time she was here. With rubber gloves strapped securely to my hands, I go to work on the enormous task of trying to live up to the standards of the generations of women before me.... my mom and my grandma, that is. Their houses are always "showroom ready" and they always have been. I cannot accurately put into words just how hygienically pleasing their homes are. With each wave of the cleanser soaked sponge I ask myself, "How do they do it????" More importantly, "Why hasn't the family secret of having a completely immaculate house not been passed down to me??"

I call my sister when I need a break from the cleaning fumes and am having trouble breathing. She sympathizes greatly with my plight. She too has been left out of the secret. It remains solely and squarely with my mom and my grandma. I am wondering if that is where it will forever stay. My sister calls me as well, when she is in the midst of preparing her house for my mom's visit. In jest, we offer to come help each other groom our abodes for "white glove status," knowing full well we can't. We live 5 hours away from one another on a good day. We are the only ones who truly understand the devastation of being left out of the secret.

Now, why wouldn't you want to share the "coveted" formula of immaculacy with your progeny?? Wouldn't that secret be important to pass on to the generations of women behind you???? I know it is "privileged information," but I am blood for crying out loud!!!! Doesn't that count for something???

I have asked my mom point blank about the secret. She only smiles back at me and coyly responds, "I don't know what you are talking about." I even kicked things up a bit in my accusations this time. I wanted her to know I was "on to her." I told her that I knew about the "Cleaning Elves." She laughed suspiciously, "Elves??? What elves? I have no idea what you are talking about." I rebutted, "You have to have cleaning elves, Mom!!! How in the world do you do it otherwise??? Grandma has them too! Why can't Ang and I use them??? Please! Have mercy on us! We are moms with kids still at home for crying out loud. Why do you still need them?" Closing the door on the possibility of revelation, she simply utters, "I don't know what you are talking about. There are no elves." And there the secret stays.

So, under the cabinet in the Hesterkitchen sit Easy-off and Lime Away nestled close beside their friends, the Rubber Gloves. They laugh in hysteria as they know the secret too. They enjoy their siesta and will sleep soundly until the next time Mom and G'pa Dan head south from Michigan. In the meantime, I will check on craigslist and ebay to see if any one is trying to get rid of their cleaning elves, when I wish I could just inherit my own.

Nocommentaphobia- the Phobia of Commenting on Blogs

2008-10-23T08:09:00.000-04:00

I follow Target Addict (target-addict@blogspot.com) pretty faithfully. She shares a common obsession, oops..I mean healthy love, for Target like I do. It is neat to see all the things she highlights on her blog with true Red Bulls eye adoration. I learn about certain items I didn't even know Target had, and she always picks out the coolest stuff to talk about. I just totally dig her and her site.

There is another camaraderie we have with one another besides our love for Target. Our blogs are laced with nocommentaphobia...much like sent letters that were laced with Anthrax back in 2001, and we are having trouble removing it. We both rarely have comments on our blog entries. She writes everyday about something Target-related, and can go weeks without a comment. Yet, she continues to write faithfully. I wonder if she ever feels like she is solely writing to Al Gore himself, whom, of course, invented the Internet with his brain tied behind his back. How she keeps on writing without feeling discouraged, I do not know. I might have to ask her some time....in one of my comments undoubtedly.

I, on the other hand, have the misfortune of writing to my "readership" from the heart. I don't have the luxury of writing about trivial (or not so trivial) things like Target, because I am sick. I am sick with a disease of transparency and other junk like that. I couldn't write just about Target if I tried. And believe me, I would love to. Instead, I bare part of my complex soul for everyone to see, in hopes that it might encourage another to know they are not alone in some of the battles they may face. Because of my readership's nocommentaphobia, I must endure the unknown of assuming that someone out there was touched, but just couldn't overcome their fear of commenting about it. And that's OK.

Now, some blog-writers are inundated with comments. I am not sure why one blog generates more comments than another. The topics really don't seem that different from blog to blog. It may be because their readership is simply free of the phobia...they've gone through the effort it takes, the 12 step program and counseling necessary to post away. Good for them!!

This post may even generate some comments of its own. The very subject matter may cause someone to conquer nocommentaphobia and throw caution to the wind. But I can't help but smile, because there is a strong chance that the comment number will stand at zero...maybe for spite...maybe just to prove a point. Either way, know that I love you anyway....and "Jesus is friend of mine." (Remember that little video??? Now THAT generated a few posts.)

Is there hope for the Underdog?

2008-10-22T05:31:00.004-04:00

It is not often that I make a chosen fool of myself and not feel embarrassed about it afterwards. But Saturday morning, as I watched Hopie play her 6th soccer game with her team sitting firmly in last place, I couldn't help but cheer like a crazy woman. I am sure strangers behind me, even friends for that matter, judged me as lunatic material. I didn't care. You see, my daughter's team was tied 3-3 with the "yellow" team. Certainly you have heard of the yellow team. The yellow team is made up of star quality players on it....in fact, many. They mauled our poor little team the last time we played them 10-1. It was one of those games when you just begged the sky to open and shower torrential rains upon the field to end their misery. It was so painful to watch. But this tied game, on the other hand, was such a joy...pay back if you will...that there was NO WAY ON EARTH I was going to "curb my enthusiasm."

I guess if I were completely honest with you, there was a part of me that wished I could push a pause button on the game and explain to the crowd (now watching me instead of the game) for just a few moments why I was so charged about this game. I have been occupying a lot of space in the Underdog category of life right now. There are many "games" that I go out to play, with team uniform and all, where I don't win. I have been in the loser's bracket for some time now, and it gets exhausting. I feel like I am losing at the game of trying to keep my daughter prepared for all of her academic challenges in 7th grade. I am leading my team to defeat when I can't keep all up with all I should be doing as wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, etc. There are things in my life where I am "occupying" failing space, that I can only share with my husband. It is safe, because he can identify with them too. So, in explanation to the crowd around me, I would have had to scream at the top of my lungs, "THIS SOCCER GAME CHARGES ME UP....BECAUSE FOR ONCE, I AM WITNESSING THE UNDERDOG MAKING AN IMPACT. GO GREEN!!!! Now, watch the game instead of me, ya hear!!!!"

Someone who is feeling rightful "Underdog" status currently is John McCain. At this point in the election, when we are just 13 days out, things have taken a negative turn for him, and according to Drudge this morning, he is sitting 10 points down. If Obama doesn't win, I don't know what else he could have done differently. He's had Bruce Springsteen concerts, the View, Oprah, Colin Powell, millions upon millions in donated campaign money, a house in downtown Groveport with an enormous sign plastered to the front, kisses from archenemy Hillary Clinton, botox from Joe Biden, candle votives with pictures of him looking like Jesus, the "W" movie, his own cable channel....the list could go on and on. He is sitting very pretty right now. He may be sitting very pretty for the next 4 years, and this may be something I will have to get very used to. If Americans sympathize closely with how Tina Fey feels about having to play Sarah Palin for the next four years on SNL, Obama is a shoe in.

I know there have been a lot of football movies about being the underdog. There has even been a movie about Underdog being the underdog. Maybe John should spend a few moments during his down time on the campaign trail to catch a few of these flicks. Maybe this might energize him as the Election finish line is in clear view. If I could speak with John, I would ask him to fight for his political life like he did when he was a POW. I would want him to know that many are praying about this election....and are confident that God's Will will be done either way. That is coming from the lips of a true underdog. "There's no need to fear, Underdog is here."

College Roadtrip

2008-10-14T09:45:00.003-04:00

Funny how things from the past can come to the forefront of your mind when you least expect it. I'm not sure if that is a tool of Satan's in his masterful way of accusing, or just God's sweet way of saying "Look how much I have done in your life." Sometimes it is difficult to tell initially.

Last Thursday night, I got an unexpected email through Facebook from my roommate in college. We haven't spoken in 18 years...not because of a falling out...just because of life, I suppose. It was a bit of a shock to hear from her, yet it was exciting to hear some of the things that have taken place in her life since our carefree college days. When I sat down at the laptop to formulate my response, my mind had trouble narrowing down exactly what to say. There has been SO MUCH that has taken place in my life since college....the most important being God. I mean, honestly, where do you begin? I could tell her about marrying Gregg....I could tell her about all the moves we have made due to Gregg's career...I would most definitely tell her about our babies...but what about the "real" stuff of the last 18 years?? The person who closed our dorm room door behind her for the last time in 1991, is forever gone. How do you narrow the gap of time with just mere words? Would it be right to leave out the most significant change that has occurred in my life the last 18 years? And how strange would it be for her to hear about my life now with God, when her only memories of me would clearly be of someone who did not know Him at all?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Two days later, Gregg and I worked the OSU/Purdue Football game. Our church has a concession booth where a portion of our sales goes to missions. We do this every year together, and have a fun time doing it. But there is something that ALWAYS happens to me when I work these games. (And as I begin to think how I will describe this to you, I wonder if any of you can relate.) Being at the OSU game throws me obviously smack dab in the middle of the college scene--that completely self-centered time when you foolishly believe the world truly revolves around you. I see surrounding me once familiar attitudes and actions, and it is disturbing for me to revisit those. I see my "once absorbed" self in almost every college girl that walks up to our counter....whether inebriated or sober. I imagine what it would be like to have a "heart to heart" with these girls...to let them into my life...give them a glimpse of the things that I have been graciously forgiven by God for...to share with them The Answer to the inner turmoil they are trying to escape. As I slide their super nachos with cheese and an overpriced Coke across the counter, I would love to ask them "Would you like God with that?" I serve at the game with a willing heart, yet walk away with incredibly sore feet and waivering thoughts of wishing I could have touched just one life while I was there.

As I pull the covers tightly to me in my bed after a long day of Brutus dogs and salted pretzels, I have concerns that all this recent brain inundation of college stuff might intrude upon my sleep life. I ask myself if these feelings mean nothing, or could they be indicative of something more. Surely, I do believe I am forgiven for my incredible stupidity of the past. God, in all His grace and mercy, has released me of those chains. But why can't I go to these games, or be contacted by a former roommate without having to "go back to college" in my mind?

Life will go on...and except for the transcript of my blog, I will probably forget that I was dwelling upon these things. That is, of course, until the next round of accusations come from the father of lies. What's most important here is giving God the honor and praise for taking a gray, lumpy piece of clay, and molding it and shaping it into something beautiful. How I long to see the finished product someday!!!!

"Hard to put down" Guarantee

2008-10-08T06:31:00.000-04:00

Several weeks ago, while dwelling in the Land of Polaris, I walked into the Lifeway Christian Bookstore, looking for the new Beth Moore "David" Journal I was getting ready to start. I had read in a flyer that it was on sale, and I am always interested in the words "On Sale." Now, I don't go into Lifeway very much. We don't have a great relationship. It almost consistently disappoints me. It rarely has the particular item I am looking for, and their employees' warm greetings are always followed up with a "We don't have that item, but we can order it for you." My internal response is usually "That's what Amazon is for," but for some reason I don't think that would be too Christ-like.

About the only good thing regarding Lifeway is the opportunity to peruse the New Book section. Although I do try to keep current on all the lastest and greatest, sometimes something new doesn't make my radar screen. So, with my handy dandy notebook (oh...remember that?? Blues Clues seems ages ago) ready to go, I copy down every book title that remotely seems interesting to me. Then I go home and check the library website to see if our library carries it. (Now, if I had an iphone...I could just check it right there.)

Very little grabs me at the bookstore. I am too picky I suppose. There is just so much saturation in the Historical Fiction-Amish Department. Ever notice that?? But I did find one that definitely piqued my curiosity. And I have enjoyed it ever since I got my hands on it. The book is entitled "The Almost True Story of Ryan Fischer" by Rob Stennett and it is absolutely hilarious. Here is how Publisher's Weekly puts it:

"Screenwriter Stennett offers a satirical look at a non-Christian's ascent to pastor of a megachurch in this engaging, highly readable novel. Ryan Fisher is a 28-year-old real estate agent who doesn't believe in God, but lists himself in the Christian Business Directory (along with a Jesus fish symbol) to beef up sales. He and his wife, Katherine, attend church to validate his new religious image, where he sees the possibilities of utilizing business principles to create his own megachurch. They move to Bartlesville, Okla., and create "The People's Church" where Ryan preaches a feel-good, do-good gospel ("I'm not encumbered by things like the Bible and Jesus"). As church numbers swell, Oprah calls, local pastors are on the warpath, a religious fanatic plots Ryan's assassination, and Katherine is smitten with Cowboy Jack, a karaoke singer-turned-worship leader who pens Christian lyrics to popular radio tunes. Is Ryan in over his head? Interesting narration and Dave Barryesque footnotes make this humorous entertainment with a faith-based message."

The genre of Satirical Christian Fiction is very small. I think a lot of people can't imagine putting those two concepts together. I wonder if that is why you never see any Christian comedy shows on TBN. (That comment is supposed to be my own attempt at satire. Can you tell?) Anyway, I haven't given the Hesterwoman "No-Money Back" guarantee since Riven by Jerry Jenkins. But this one receives my "You will laugh out loud when reading this" seal of approval. Let me know what you think.

Cameron Interviews Hesterwoman on "Fireproof"

2008-10-07T05:26:00.003-04:00

In effort to know exactly how the average "almost 40" year old, Christ-following woman, living in Midwestern suburbia, is receiving the movie "Fireproof," Kirk Cameron "contacts" the Hesterwoman for an interview. Although she doesn't fit the word "average" in any way, Cameron can't find anyone else who is willing to go through his scrutinizing questions. So without further ado, here is a snippet of the interview.

Cameron: What made you want to see my movie "Fireproof?"

Hesterwoman: Well...I just loved you in Growing Pains back in the 80's and wanted to see if you had aged as nicely as I have.

Cameron: Any time something has an inspirational or a faith-based message, people tend to thing it will be "hokey" or "second rate." Did you think that of "Fireproof" after seeing it?

Hesterwoman: In all honesty, not really. I thought it was excellent. There were just a few minor "hokey" parts, but I can easily overlook them. I thought it was stronger than "Facing the Giants" as a whole. I know the movie was meaningful to me, as its message continues to resonate days after I have seen it.

Cameron: How did you prepare for the role of seeing the movie?

Hesterwoman: Well, this was a "dinner and a movie" night for me and my husband, so I tried to look nice for him...put on a little "Bath and Body Works" Cherry Blossom Body Spray. It's not often that we get to go out together, so as you can see, I pulled out all the stops.

Cameron: Being happily married for so long, was it difficult to relate to the material?

Hesterwoman: Not at all. In all honesty, I found it difficult to handle at times. In fact, I could have easily "cried buckets" after seeing it, because it reminded me of a difficult season in my own marriage. And it made me feel so grateful to God for His ultimate gift of restoration and healing.

Cameron: Did you know I have a clause that I don't kiss other people than my wife in my movies? What do you think of that?

Hesterwoman: I think that is both wonderful and honorable. I never thought about the fact that you might need to kiss your on screen wife in the movie. I know that is crazy. I mean, after all, this is a movie about marriage. But I appreciate the message this sends to all of us.

Cameron: Being that you love books, I was wondering if you knew that "The Love Dare" is a real book. Do you plan on reading it?

Hesterwoman: I don't know. I hadn't thought about it before. Maybe I will talk to Gregg about it.

Cameron: I am hoping people will go see "Fireproof" because it's a great movie. I'm hoping at the end people will say, "I felt there were times when I felt like I was looking in a mirror." I hope they pick up a copy of the book, "The Love Dare," and start practicing the things in it. Anyone can pick it up and see a huge change (in their marriage). I believe that one person fully submitted to God and his Word can turn a marriage around. Have you found this to be true personally?

Hesterwoman: From my own experience, I know that God is the God of Healing. He can take something that looks completely hopeless and make it so incredibly beautiful.

Cameron: Does it ever embarrass you to be transparent about the struggles you and Gregg have gone through?

Hesterwoman: I have moments of confidence with this, and then I have moments when I am uncomfortable with it. When I think of all the couples who might benefit from knowing there can be very REAL struggles in marriage and how God can bring genuine healing out of that, I want the world to know. However, when I allow the enemy to blast me with shame and lies, then I want to keep the reality of our story to myself. Would I like to be a woman who has never had serious issues in marriage? Yes...a million times..YES!!! But I am not. It is a part of my "God-story," and telling it brings Him honor and glory.

Cameron: Do you think only Christians would enjoy "Fireproof?" Is it too "religious?"

Hesterwoman: Not at all. I think this movie would resonate well with anyone who would see it. To me, it promotes excellent discussion afterwards between you and your spouse. And because your character Caleb, is not following Christ in the beginning of the movie, the writers did an excellent job of illustrating the battle one faces in trying to avoid the subject of God in their lives.

Cameron: Do you think it would ever be possible for me to outgrow "Growing Pains?" I mean, why do people always have to associate me with Mike Seaver?

Hesterwoman: Don't look at it as such a bad thing. I know you are trying to get away from the whole "shoulder pads, parachute pants, and mullet" look. But your time on Growing Pains may be one of the very reasons couples who grew up during the 80's might come and see the film. As a teen friend of mine always texts "Embrace the struggle," Kirk. Listen...I gotta go back to mothering and all. If there is anything more you need to know, call my agent.

Cameron: Thank you, Hesterwoman. Thank you for your time and more importantly, your insightful answers during this interview. It has been a "true" honor learning more about you. I am so moved that you thought so much of "Fireproof." Now I know all my efforts in making this movie were well worth it.

Look for "Fireproof" to come out on DVD early next year if you aren't able to get to the theaters...or don't live near one where it is showing.

Birth Order Blues

2008-10-03T16:06:00.004-04:00

I became fascinated with "Birth Order" when my dad got me a book on the subject for Christmas many years ago. Since then, I have speculated and hypothesized the birth orders of people around me, in hopes of figuring them out. I have placed stereotypical "cookie cutters" upon them based on the order of their births. Sometimes they fit, and in rare cases they don't. I am sure this habit of mine has become annoying to some. I apologize for that. It's just that I have always had this problem with the question of "why"...."Why are things this way," and "Why does this person behave that way?" Birth order tends to appease my inquisitive cravings. And it has helped me understand myself a lot better along the way.

So, if I have ever talked on this subject with you before, you can just imagine how much I have babbled to Gregg about it over the years. Poor guy. I was so excited last week when I learned that Focus on the Family was doing a radio special with "Mr. Birth Order" himself, Dr. Kevin Leman. I just couldn't wait to share it with Gregg. I thought it would be helpful information in how to better parent our first and second borns. I always appreciate when we both have the same parenting information in our brains. Makes things a lot more consistent, I find. So, I downloaded the podcast, and asked Gregg to listen to it when he had the chance. (Whenever that would be!)

Gregg has always taken pride in his birth order. He is the middle child, between two girls and the only son. They are all four years apart. Gregg finds his birth order to be the most pleasing of all birth orders. From having to listen to me over the years, he knows that his middle born tendencies make him a prime candidate for being easy to get along with...a compromiser...a pleasing personality. First borns, in his opinion, and according to Dr. Leman as well, tend to be bossy....have to have their own way...want to steer the ship themselves...think there is only one way of doing things, and its their way. He has enjoyed his more than fair share of jabs over the years at first borns and their seemingly strong personalities. He feels he is an expert on the subject because he is married to one.

So, to my surprise this afternoon, Gregg took the ipod out to listen to a few podcasts while mowing the lawn. Now, we have a pretty big yard. So there is PLENTY of time to listen, digest, and reflect upon certain meaningful podcasts. As I was wiping the counter in the kitchen, he came in from mowing the lawn, and simply said very sincerely, "I'm sorry." I turned around and looked at him. I pondered what he could possibly be saying sorry for. I thought of all the subjects that were covered on the podcasts this week. Could it have been something on the marriage podcast? Sure...there is ALWAYS something you can apologize for in marriage. But then there was that one on cancer? Yikes! Was there something he had been meaning to tell me but couldn't? Or was it the one on using your God-given gift set? No...I think he is does well with that. Hmmmm....I was stumped.

He proceeded to say, "I'm sorry for being first born." I looked at him quizzically. I have known him for almost 25 years, and the last time I checked, he had not been promoted to first born status. He explained that by having listened to Dr. Leman's podcast, he realized that he himself had some of those horrible first born tendencies and was "dreadfully ashamed." My heart went out to him.....kind of, sort of. The funny thing about it was I felt pretty certain he had some first born tendencies...but I didn't dare tell him about it. He enjoyed making fun of us too much.

His apology intrigued me. But we didn't have time to dig into it deeper, because the girls needed to be picked up from school. The first born in me selfishly didn't want to pick up the girls, so I suggested that Gregg do it. After all, I have to do it all the time. The least he could do was pick them up just this one time for me. But I couldn't let him go by himself. I was too interested in hearing the explanation behind his second born apology. So, I sacrificially offered to go with him. I could ride right beside him, pressing and probing for more details to the reasons behind the "I'm sorry." Please join me in the conversation already in progress in our 2001 "Too many miles already" Red Caravan.

Amy: Why did you apologize in the kitchen?

Gregg: Well, I realized in listening to that Leman guy that I have been acting first born like sometimes....especially when it comes to demanding perfection out of our girls. I don't like it. It scares me.

Amy: Well, honey, I hate to admit this to you, but I think you are right. I see it now, more than I ever have.

Gregg: I know...I see it too. I don't know why that is. Do you?

Amy: I am really not sure. I just know it is there. What do you think?

Gregg: Honestly, in all seriousness, I think it is because of you. You are rubbing off on me. It is my constant exposure to your first born-ness.

Amy: What??? You can't be serious! You think I am the reason for your first born characteristics? Come on!!!

Gregg: Well, how would you explain it otherwise?

Amy: I would explain it like this. You are the only male son in your family. According to Dr. Leman, you will have first born tendencies for that very fact. Besides, I will have you know that I think my "first born-ness" has subsided over the years.

Gregg: I would agree with that. Why do you think that is?

Amy: I am learning how to become more and more submissive, that's why. I am mastering this whole Proverbs 31 thing.

The funny thing about the Hestercouple is it seems we can move in and out of a subject very quickly. Just as the conversation REALLY started to get good, we began driving through a school zone and had to drop to 20 mph. That started us complaining like two octogenarians on how ridiculous speed zones can be when the school is sitting a mile from the road. So, our in depth dissection of birth order was now over...at least for the time being.

In all seriousness, I think what we mutually learned from the Leman podcast still stands. We need to be careful in demanding too much perfection out of our girls...especially in the line of school work...and possibly concerning Tuesday's excavation of Hopie's room.

So...do you think your birth order effects how you relate to people? Does it play a role in your marriage dynamics? Do you think it penetrates how you parent?

He is looking a little "ruddy" to me

2008-09-30T18:07:00.003-04:00

Gregg and I got into a small little "discussion" as we were going to bed last night. Most couples might "discuss" finances, others might "discuss" parenting techniques, some might "discuss" wanting more time with one another. Not fighting, mind you...just "discussing." While tucked neatly under the covers, I read to Gregg out of 1 Samuel, and decided to share something interesting I had learned about David in my newly "cracked" Beth Moore journal. As I got to 1 Samuel 16:12, I looked over at Gregg to make sure he was still with me. "So Jesse sent and brought David in. Now he was ruddy, with beautiful eyes and a handsome appearance. And the LORD said, "Arise, anoint him; for this is he."

Gregg: "I think you mean "ruddy." (Like RUDE-Y)

Amy: "No, it's pronounced "ruddy." (Like Ruh-dy)

Gregg: "No, it's RUDE-Y. I have heard it that way."

Amy: "No, I remember it as a vocabulary word in High School. It's Ruh-dy."

Gregg: "No, it's not."

Amy: "Yes, it is."

Gregg: "No, it's not."

Amy: "That's it! I am looking on dictionary.com tomorrow. I know I'm right."

Gregg: "Well, you're not...but that's ok."

That seemed to end our discussion on David for the night. Not sure why. :) But after looking up the pronunciation of "ruddy" today, I think Gregg is looking a little like that to me....and handsome too.

The Language of Gift-Giving

2008-09-30T16:13:00.006-04:00

I think about God while I am shopping. It may seem strange, but up and down the aisles, I dwell upon Him. Whether at my top favorites TJMAXX and Target...even while shopping at Meijer sometimes, I just think about Him. What brings Him to my mind, you ask? Well, every time I linger in the land of retail, I see something for my girls that I just know they will love. With every aisle I scan, I see one item after another that I am just certain will bring joy to their hearts. I long to let them know how much I love and think of them through giving them gifts. And this always brings me back to God and more specifically Matthew 7:11. I am reminded of His never-ending love when I reflect upon these words, "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!"

I obviously don't buy everything I take into view for the girls while shopping. The budget just wouldn't handle it, and honestly we all know that would be unhealthy for them. But today, I had a defeating moment as a parent in the "good gifts" department. I decided to clean out one of my daughter's rooms (I'm leaving the name out on condition of anonymity...but you've got a 50% chance of figuring it out :)) because it was unbelievably messy. It took me literally over 4 hours and 6 full garbage bags, to clean it. As I put item after item into the trash, my heart recognized that these "good gifts" were no longer worth anything to her....stuffed under her bed, thrown on the floor of her closet. In frustration and anger, I muttered to myself that this would be the end of her "good gifts" from me. No more picking up this little thing or that little thing for her. By doing this, I am only adding to her disregard for her possessions. With all the determination I could muster as I stumbled for a safe place to stand on her littered floor, I admonished myself for contributing to the mess. "I am absolutely through with "good gifts," I seethed.

Then, confirming I needed a good dose of Truth in my mind, my thoughts drifted once more to God and Matthew 7:11. I reflected on the way I have treated His "good gifts" at times...my lack of appreciation, my absence of acknowledgement, my "love it one minute, leave it the next" approach. I am no different than my daughter. So, I might not stuff His "good gifts" under the bed or leave them in disarray on the floor of my closet. But I have treated them with the same inattention...the same indifference. I have become "spoiled" if you will, yet I know my Father can't help but give them to me. He just loves me so. (Side Note: Sometimes His "good gifts" come in the form of discipline and correction. He is great to "spoil" me that way! Helps me to become more like Him, the GREATEST OF ALL GIFTS.)

Today, I gave my daughter one more "good gift" that I think will be more valuable to her than any of the others that formerly cluttered her room. I gave her the "good gift" of boundaries, which included the "box" of respect...complete with a "bow" of appreciation. You see, I had to give it to her. I couldn't leave her with the mistake of treating her "good gifts" like they held no value. If I did that, she might have trouble realizing how priceless "good gifts" are from her Father. Those are the very best kind, and their endurance rate is 100%.

**My "gift" giving days are not over. I will just be more careful in the future. I love them both...and I just can't help showering them sometimes.

A new addition to the Hesterfamily

2008-09-29T10:29:00.003-04:00

After MUCH persuading and convincing, the HesterMAN gave his blessing last week upon adding a new addition to our family. The Hestergirls became very familiar with Craigslist as we searched and searched to find the "purrfect" kitty. We had very little "luck" as we were particular in what we wanted. The kitten had to be female, under 10 weeks of age, and had to be shorthaired. Not much out there on Craigslist with those stipulations. But then we came upon a rescue website that had what we were looking for. And now, I proudly introduce to you, Miss Sophia "Sophie" Rose Hestercat:

Side note- Sister Chloe Grace is handling it the best she can. Hoping that they learn to love each other soon. :)

Daily Samplings of David

2008-09-25T09:28:00.002-04:00

I am so excited!!!! Monday morning, I am starting my new "David" 90 Day Journal/Journey with Beth Moore. I have been anticipating this ever since I purchased the book, but I needed to wait until I finished "Whispers of Hope." If you have never encountered Beth Moore before, you are so in for a treat. She is a primo Bible teacher who is abundantly used by God to make the Bible come alive for her "students." If you would like to join me starting Monday, pick up a copy of "David" at any Lifeway Bookstore. I would be honored if you joined me. I must tell you, I will be taking this at my own pace. Sometimes I have time for it, and sometimes I don't. Just being honest. But I thought it would be fun to at least have a few who "knew" what I was talking about when I HAD to blog about something I was learning about through the journal. Are you game??? Come on!! You know you want to!!! Dig deep! You will love it!

Side Note: An "old" friend of mine from the great state of Oklahoma is joining me on this one too. Hi Amy!! Good to have you aboard. :)

More "diction" with Dictionary.com

2008-09-25T09:12:00.002-04:00

Today I was reading an article linked to the Drudge Report entitled "Why Obama will lose" by the Edmond Sun. (Very cool, because the Hestergirls were both ummm, well, shall we say "put together" in Edmond, Oklahoma. Special place with very special people.) Anyway, very quickly, I came upon the word "polymath" in the article. This word was not referring to Obama, but Benjamin Franklin of all people. Now, here are two people you wouldn't normally find connected in the same paragraph. Anyway, truthfully, I am just wondering how many of you really knew the definition of this word.... or was I really just sleeping soundly through my minor in English during the college years?

Polymath- (pŏl'ē-māth')
n. A person of great or varied learning.

"Everybody's smilin', Sunshine Day!!"

2008-09-25T08:16:00.004-04:00

Sometimes you just have a day like Greg and the other Brady kids sang about....as corny as it sounds. I really treasure those days, especially because they are rare gems in my calendar of life. The great things about a "Sunshine Day" (besides the fact that there truly has to be sun to make it authentic), are its unexpected components. It's as if God just keeps layering one wonderful surprise after another. The surprises are simple, but they still bring joy to the heart. Here is a little synopsis of my "Sunshine Day:"

I had the pleasure of going with a friend to the OHIO Thrift Store's 50% off sale. Now, I know what you are thinking... "THRIFT STORE??? Gross, disgusting, undignified!!" But we had so much fun together!!!! I realize you can't get every friend interested in going to a thrift store with you. Not everybody enjoys the "thrill of the hunt" and the proverbial "high" that comes from getting "something for nothing." But when you do find someone who professes a PhD in the Strategies of a Thrifty Shopper, you can't help but scream "Hallelujah! Dollar Store, anybody??!!" Frugally speaking, we hit "pay dirt" yesterday, and our washing machines are paying the heavy price afterwards. THRILLING!!! Can somebody say, "Amen???"

Other components of my "Sunshine Day" consisted of going to a new restaurant with this same thrifty friend, having great conversation and lunch, while sipping a cool Pepsi underneath a sun umbrella. Absolutely delightful!! Even more splendid is having her precious 5 yr. old daughter coloring pictures on her placemat and enjoying part of my "Sunshine Day" with me. The icing on the cake was when she invited me over to see her fish tank and her sparkling butterflies in her room. How could I deny such a heartfelt invitation??? She put wonderful colors into my "Sunshine Day."

As my Sunshine Day was coming to a close, I spent a moment thanking my Savior for wrapping up a special unexpected present for me. Fathers do that sometimes, don't they? They are just so overflowing with love for their children that they can't help but give "good gifts" to them. I can always feel the "sparkling butterflies" in my stomach when I know I am about to receive one.

Midwest Misnomer

2008-09-21T14:36:00.001-04:00

One of my favorite ways of getting the news I want, when I want it, is using USATODAY.com... second only to my frequent scanning of the Drudge Report. Yesterday, as I was perusing the site, I inadvertently clicked on the LIFE section's POP Candy icon (mouse is very sensitive on the laptop), and was curious when I saw them highlighting what celebrities would look like if they were from the Midwest. "Hmmmmm, this ought to be interesting," I thought to myself. But after a second or two, it hit me... "WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING FROM THE MIDWEST???" Apparently, a lot. See if this quote doesn't get your Midwest dander up:

"Since going to Orange County California every month for the past year, I have begun to realize that people in the Midwest are really their own breed. Of course there are the exceptions, but for the most part 90% of Midwesterners, especially women all look the same." -Jeremy Enke

Ummm, hello??? Where does this guy get his information from?? Has he been here lately? Has he ever been here? "Our own breed??" Come on!!! I find it interesting that the picture he chose of himself on his blog could easily say "I'm a pastor of a typical Midwestern church" (whatever that is) ...since he likes living through labels and stereotypes.

I admit that some of his pictures are funny. But honestly, I don't know a single person who looks this way....and what's wrong if I did. Maybe I am taking unnecessary offense to this. After all, states like Arkansas, Tennessee, West Virginia, Mississippi, even Texas, have been taking a ribbing for years (i.e. jokes about inner-familial marriages, women with big hair, incorrect use of the English language, etc.) Maybe it just "hurts" more, because it appears to be our turn.

I would link the site to you...but there are a few profanities on the blog. Don't want to promote that. So instead, I will show you a few of the photoshopped pics. Can you guess who they are???:

Catchy....isn't it???

2008-09-20T15:25:00.003-04:00

Wonder what I would have to do to get our church to sing this tomorrow during Worship??? I'm thinking it has the potential of "bringing the house down." By the way, do you think the lead singer might be "vintage" Eric Estrada before his CHiPs days??? Do you see it, or is it just me??? Also, I am sensing a little bit of DEVO with this catchy little number.....

Bibles, Bombs, and Homeland Insecurity

2008-09-19T14:29:00.003-04:00

I get SO EXCITED when a favorite author of mine comes out with a new book.....and to my surprise I just learned that Rob Bell has a new one headed for a bookshelf near you. I really like Rob Bell because he is edgy and "scandalous" in his approach to teaching others to truly follow Christ. He throws the boundaries of man-made religion away and challenges people with a simplified, yet incredibly intriguing look at Jesus. Plus, I enjoy envisioning how uncomfortable the Christian Publishing Companies must get when he chooses the titles for his books (i.e. Velvet Elvis and Sex God). I can just imagine the "suits" sweating.

Bell's new book, Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile apparently comes out around October 1st. Here is a preview of the book from the back cover:

“It's a book about faith and fear,

wealth and war,

poverty, power, safety, terror,

Bibles, bombs, and homeland insecurity,

It's about empty empires and the truth that everybody's a priest, it's about oppression, occupation, and what happens when Christians support, animate and participate in the very things Jesus came to set people free from.

It's about what it means to be a part of the church of Jesus in a world where some people fly planes into buildings while others pick up groceries in Hummers.”

WHEW!!! This sounds like one not everybody is going to like reading and digesting....but then again, that's how Rob is. He says something that offends and challenges his fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, and walks away unscathed. How come I never think of this stuff first???? Maybe all I need are the glasses.

Will you follow me?

2008-09-18T08:01:00.006-04:00

OK...so this question doesn't carry the kind of magnitude and sacrifice that Jesus was implying when He said to "take up your cross daily and follow Me." But Blogspot is offering this new "gadget" where you can now easily "follow" my blog and become a "fan." The feature lets readers publicly subscribe to my blog and adds a Reading List to my Blogger Dashboard so readers can stay updated with the blogs they follow. Here's a question I am sure you all are asking:

How do I become a Follower of your awesome blog?
One of the easiest ways is click on the "Follow this Blog" link under the "Followers" widget on the right hand side of the page,. Most of you are more technically savy then me, so you shouldn't have a problem with this. If you do, let me know. I will get my "tech support" hot on it! That is my "no money back guarantee."

Special thanks to my 3 followers!!! I didn't even ask, and you just showed up one day!! Thanks for your support!!! YOU SO ROCK!!!!

The Facile Side of Dictionary.com

2008-09-18T08:01:00.005-04:00

Oh, how much easier it is to look up the meaning of words on Dictionary.com than perusing the pages of Merriam-Webster!! The arduous task of our teachers in conveying the importance of alphabetical order has now gone by the wayside. Now, all you need to do is type how you think a word is spelled on dictionary.com and up pops the probable word with access to its meaning, its synonyms, and how it can be referenced. It is such a valuable tool for a writer, and it dramatically allows for more "real estate" space on your bookshelf. Sadly, because of dictionary.com, Dictionaries and Thesauruses will now join their distant cousin, the Encyclopedia, in the finality of the "Reference Graveyard."

Here are the lastest words I have had to look up on the site. You probably already know what they mean....but I wasn't totally sure.... although the last one brought laughter and a quick look at my ankles...just to make sure I was still OK. :)

1) Incendiary- used in reference to Chris Matthews and Keith Obermann. Of course!!! Now I know why!!!

2) Shrew- used in a title of a book I was thinking of reserving for Hopie at the library. Now I know why the author placed a "mouse-like" creature on the front cover.

3) Cankles- used in an SNL skit regarding Hillary Clinton. I had never heard of this word before. I'm going to ask my "hip" and much younger sister if she knows this one. If she does, I will admit that approaching 40 has catapulted me to a place of culture ignorance. Maybe that is not so bad.

Can't get over this one!!!

2008-09-17T13:25:00.000-04:00

IKE whispered here......

2008-09-15T14:27:00.003-04:00

Ike whispered very forcefully on Columbus, Ohio, last Sunday afternoon, and my girls have just returned to school for the first time today. Many of us have been without power for days....some may not even see it until late this weekend. Makes you appreciate the things you take for granted, like warm showers and a lamp to read by. The State of Ohio received extensive damage from Ike, seconded only to Texas. Life-long residents of the area have never seen anything like it. Four people died in Columbus as a result of Ike. And personally, I had no idea it was coming.

Although Ike will probably last in infamy here in Ohio, I can't imagine how it has impacted the lives of the people in Texas. So, Ohioians have been without electricity...so we have lost some trees in our yards. We received just a small sampling of the devastation that hit Texas last Friday. I think of my mom and my step-dad (affectionately known as G'pa Dan) who have been in San Antonio since last Thursday helping with the Red Cross. I think of the thousands of people there who desperately NEED....and those like the Red Cross who have the energy and means necessary to supply whatever they can. Maybe it is just a hug, or a warm meal, or a place to lay their heads.

I get tired of my nature of taking things for granted. Just when I think I have the attribute of thankfulness and gratitude "nailed," I am reminded how often I take things for granted....like my family, like my house, like my church, like my friends, like my God. Oh Father, please help me to remove myself from me. I can get so tired of me.

The Dish on "Dogwood"

2008-09-14T08:12:00.000-04:00

I never intended for my blog to include book reviews...but because reading is such an important piece of who I am, I hope you don't mind if I share yet another opinion on a book I have just finished. A friend of mine, who just happens to be a librarian (Ohhh...how I wish I could be one!), recommended "Dogwood," the first novel by author Chris Fabry. I am familiar with Chris because my girls have adored the "Red Rock" series he co-wrote them with Jerry Jenkins. I have never authored a book myself, thus I have a "Who are you to say?" complex when it comes to saying anything negative about a book. But here goes.....

"Dogwood" has a very interesting "skeleton" when it comes to story "bones," but its character development is extremely confusing at first. I had finished at least 1/3 of the book before I could figure out "who" was "who." I would have preferred more insight to the characters personalities....I didn't feel like I really knew them very well. But the book had enough going for it, that I wanted to finish it. The ending was unexpected, which I always enjoy. However, "Dogwood" would not receive my ever famous "money back guarantee." It was too hard to follow.

Side note: Most people go to Amazon.com before they read a book, to make sure it is recommended by its readers. I wait until after I finish a book. I am too easily influenced by people's opinions, and I know I won't give the book a chance if I read anything negative about it. (Strange, I know.) Incidentally, "Dogwood" received very favorable reviews by its commentators. Only one felt the same way I did. So...what do I know???

Just calling it like she sees it.......

2008-09-13T19:23:00.004-04:00

A friend of mine said, in reference to my once frequent blog postings, that I had too much time on my hands. Well, with how long it has taken me to post again, it can be "accurately" stated that I haven't had much time on my hands lately. Just a few days ago, my youngest asked me if I had written on my blog recently. I thought that was a curious question to ask from a ten year old. I told her the same answer I shared with you, "No...I haven't had much time to do that lately." "You've had enough time to be on Facebook," she replied. Hmmmmm....don't you love being called out by your offspring??? Don't you love it even more when they are right??

And then there's James.....

2008-09-03T08:04:00.003-04:00

I wake up to the beauty of a new day. I hear the sounds of "good morning" coming from the birds...joining in unison are the crickets. I roll over and tell my husband I don't want him to go to work today. I never want him to go to work. I try to convince him that he needs just a few more minutes of "shut-eye," but I see the flight suit coming out of the closet and I know my pleas are futile. After he stumbles out of the room to get ready for the day, I lay in defeat. I reach for my Bible and my Whispers of Hope devotional. Only 7 more days to go, and I am sad that I will be all through with it. "I wonder what God has for me to ponder today," I think to myself. At this time in my life, I am extremely hungry for the Word. In continued awareness of my limited humanness, I ache for God's wisdom. And with every morsel of His Word I taste, I am reminded of just how MIGHTY He is...and how much I desperately need Him in my life.

With anticipation, I turn to Day 63 of my journal, and to my "horror" I see that the morning will be spent with James. "Oh why does it have to be James today, God?? Can't it be David or Job?" I like those guys so much. (I think our Myers-Brigg's letters are the same.) They feel in the same ways that I feel. They cry out to God in the same emotions that I do. (Except the tearing clothes part...I can't do that...I might need that outfit for something important later. Plus, I have shoes that match just perfectly.) They have extreme highs and lows with God. I "dig" their realness. James tends to be so "in your face." And in spending the morning with him, I know I will probably end up muttering that infamous statement of the Christ-follower, "I needed to hear this today."

So with internal whining and complaining, I turn to James. My attitude is poor. I speculate I will have to read something about that today, too. As I scan down the page of scripture, I skim over the heading of Chapter 3..."Taming the Tongue"...and I soooo hope we are not talking about that today. Somewhat relieved, I see that James is going to be talking about "Two Kinds of Wisdom" just a little further down the page, and I know I am all about "wisdom" right now. WHEW!!! That was a close one! I gratefully "dig" in...anxious to rediscover what wisdom truly is.

I love the way the NIV puts it. Listen to this:

"Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy, and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."

Some people are anti-The Message. I like to read it when I want further understanding of what I read:

13 -16Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here's what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It's the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn't wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn't wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn't wisdom. It's the furthest thing from wisdom—it's animal cunning, devilish conniving. Whenever you're trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others' throats.

17 -18Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.

Oh...this is sooooo good for me to hear. WOW!!! This wisdom criteria laid out by James is really difficult to achieve. I go through the list of characteristics of true wisdom and I realize just how much wisdom must be of God and not of man. Because which of us can say with all certainty that the wisdom we try to share with others is always pure...always peace-loving...always considerate? These characteristics sound a lot like the way Paul ( I like him most of the time, too) describes love in 1 Corinthians 13. Am I "wise" in saying I have a lot of room to grow in the "wisdom" department? Now that is something I can say with all certainty!!!

So, maybe I have been a little hard on James this morning. He is just so "tell it like it is" and he doesn't coddle me with his words. He doesn't pamper me with sensitive tone. Sometimes I need that. Glad God used him for that. Very wise of Him, don't you think?

Fidelity and Facebook

2008-08-28T04:40:00.007-04:00

I feel like I have been "cheating" on my blog lately... because I sensed "guilt" when I clicked on her this morning. You know that feeling when you realize you have been spending a lot more time with one friend over another? I want to explain to my blog...."Listen, I have this new "friend" in my life. You really should meet her. I know you would like her too. She has all these things that are soooo cool about her. She has flair...she has online friends... she is easy to chat with...she's fun to be around. I will have to introduce her to you. We can hang out together." I can almost imagine my blog responding with an unenthusiastic "Great..." and leaving it at that. I never realized how jealous she can be.

My sister tells me that the Facebook "newness" will wear off....but it doesn't seem to be happening for me and that scares me. Does Facebook cater to the weaknesses/strengths of my personality....my extroverted tendencies....my love for having people around me? In addition to that, my husband hates when I am on FACEBOOK. He thinks it is a complete waste of time. But I have really enjoyed connecting with people I haven't spoken with in a while. It is a great vehicle for that. And to top it all off, the Flair is so cute.

But one question keeps playing over and over in my mind about Facebook. Doesn't anybody ever worry about saying something on someone's wall....or posting something on your status...or sending them a piece of flair... that might make them mad? Maybe they won't understand the thought behind it. Maybe they won't get the joke. Maybe they will read too much into your "status" at the time, and think there is more behind it than what you are really stating. I don't know, maybe it's just me...but I wonder how many "facebook fights" have started because of something said which wasn't meant to be seen by the whole "community of friends." Is it just my feeble almost 40 year old brain that has concerns with wondering where a comment is going, or who's eyes are seeing it? Maybe that is just a risk one takes by participating in it.

I say all this somewhat satirically...but I have wondered about this from time to time since becoming familiar with Facebook. I know what my blog is thinking right now. She is sitting there going, "See...you should have just stayed with little old me. You didn't worry about all that stuff when you were hanging out with me. Oh sure, sometimes you thought something you wrote might be potentially offensive, but you didn't dwell on it that much. Maybe I wasn't so bad after all, hmmmmmmm??????"

First Day of School

2008-08-26T11:25:00.005-04:00

Will somebody tell me how a mom who looks this "young," has daughters who are in 5th and 7th grade???

Pray without ceasing

2008-08-26T08:39:00.005-04:00

Have you ever prayed to the point of exhaustion?

Have you ever felt your "prayer muscles" deeply ache from being stretched, strained, and pulled?

Have you ever reached the point when you bowed your head one more time, and just called out the name "Father," because that was all you had left within you?

Currently, I am going through something very painful that includes a large group of people around me whom I love and care for beyond words. Because of that, I don't feel this is the forum to go into great depth about it. If it was just about me,(Wait a minute, I have always felt that "It's all about me!" :) ) I might pour my heart out here. However, this situation includes many hearts, and I want to be respectful of them. But when I go before God time and time again over the same matter, it seems as if my spiritual energy...even physical energy at times, is depleting. Almost as if the gas light has gone off on the dashboard, and the arm in the meter just barely hangs above "E."

What makes my prayers sometimes so exhausting? I think it is because I feel through my words with God. I choose carefully what I want to say to Him, as if He has no idea how I am processing things...as if He hasn't wired me Himself. I need to carefully walk Him through it so He "gets it." The other night, I went before God, and I could barely get the words out. I was just too emotional. My heart was in a pit of grief, and I needed Him to carry that burden for me through my words. Yet, I am reminded my words aren't that important to God. Here is what's comforting about that:

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves......"
Romans 8:26-27 The Message

Moving on.....

After a mutually restless night, a friend and I spent some time with one another yesterday. God has masterfully brought us together at this time to pray about some very serious matters. It's not as if it was on our agenda...not on our long range calendar to be together for those moments. It had been "random" to us...but not random to our God. I have prayed so much with her lately, I wouldn't be surprised if she tires of my voice. As we faced each other with yet another deeply heartfelt prayer concern, I threw myself physically on the couch, and said, "I am so tired of praying." As I peeled my lifeless form off the couch, I remembered the wise words of Paul in 1 Thessalonians 5:17, when he simply said, "Pray without ceasing." I am grateful for the encouragement of Paul, because I tend to want to run away and hide from any turmoil. "When the going gets tough, the "tough" (weak,really) wants to bolt." Praise God! He has me on a tight leash.

I think of the time when Jesus had to pray through the most excruciating circumstance. How much energy did He have to lift His Words to God? How many tears must have flowed as He petitioned His Father? How much did He desire to avoid the situation before Him, even though He knew God's Ultimate Plan?

“Abba, Father,” he cried out, “everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” Mark 14:36

Moments like these make me long for Heaven. All I dwell upon here is the "little" picture. But Heaven is the BIG picture, and thank God, He wants more for us than this.

Gotta run....must pray!!! :)

Rounding the Finish Line

2008-08-23T07:44:00.008-04:00

I am nearing the finish line in my "Whispers of Hope" prayer journal and I have mixed feelings. What was meant to be a 10 week journey has taken me 6 months to complete, and I am not at all ashamed. I used to be so methodical about my quiet time with God, and in this second time going through the journal, I have allowed myself to be more "organic." (Like that??) Unfortunately, with finishing anything like this, you can be left with the frightening conclusion of "now what?" I have enjoyed this format so much....it fits me like a glove. Looking up various passages of scripture, learning a little more about it from Beth, then praying about what you learned and other things with God....it's just such a fantastic way to start the day. But there are no more "Whispers of Hope" journals for me to go through. She never did another one in this format....but I don't think I am left empty-handed.

Beth has a few "Personal Reflections" devotionals out that just might be perfect for my next choice. She has one on David...one on Jesus...and her newest one is about John. The format is a 90 day journal "journey," sprinkled with teachings from her studies on the subject. I think this is something I would really like to do. Problem is....I would really like to do this with someone else at the same time.

One of the things that I wished throughout my "Whispers of Hope" journey, was that there was someone out there doing it too. Someone who might not have been on the same day I was, (honestly...who could have waited through it that long?) but was very familiar with what I was learning and being challenged with. It would have been neat to go to them and say..."So, what did you think of Day 57?? That was a doozy! (BTW, that day really was a doozy. I feel so challenged by it, I am not sure I can do it. It is an "Olympic" size God-task for me. But see my dilemma?? I can't talk with any one about it. I would bore them silly.)

So...maybe you are at a point in your "Quiet Time" where you are wanting to "kick it up a notch." Maybe you are just looking for something new to "spice it up" but you weren't sure what that would look like. Maybe this is the very thing you are looking for. I was wondering if anyone would like to start one of these with me. You can absolutely do it at your own pace. In fact, I can almost promise you that you will finish it before me. (If you are a competitive person unlike myself :), you might like that.) I am not sold out to any one of them...they are all fine by me. But if you see one that you would like to do, let me know. I will be starting one in approximately 13 days. Want to join me?

Jesus in '08??

2008-08-22T08:57:00.006-04:00

I like to catch up on the morning's news with USA TODAY.com. Sometimes, I catch the TODAY show...but it has its time constraints, and the top stories are always readily available on the Internet. I only read two sections of USA TODAY...both in paper and .com form. I have always been that way. First, I peruse the TOP stories, then I go over to the LIFE section. I am a creature of habit, very predictable.

The LIFE section has an article today regarding a new book coming out
entitled "American Savior." The teaser (What if Jesus returned to Earth and ran for president?) intrigued me. I was curious to see who was publishing this book...was it someone "making fun" of Jesus or poking at political conservatives? Or was it a Christian writer attempting to be creative during this somewhat "boring" election season? I'm still not sure...even after reading the article.

I thought for more insight on the book, I would scroll down to the comments portion of the article to see what people were saying. If you have ever glanced at the comments section on USA TODAY.com, you might be disturbed by what you read. Even the most positive articles (and there aren't many of those)can generate some pretty appalling comments. But what struck me today were these comments:

"What is this obsession about Jesus? He is obviously an amalgamation of other savior gods around that time."

"Religion, ALL RELIGION, is the biggest fraud ever perpetrated by man against man."

And my favorite:

"In my opinion, Jesus wouldn't be that stupid to run for president." This one, I tend to agree with...at times. :)

I looked at the pseudo-names of the people who wrote these comments, and my heart went out. I can remember clearly when I wanted nothing to do with God, when I believed whole-heartedly that He was out to get me. I know how dark, black, and empty life is without God, and how incredibly difficult it is to see God for who He really is. I wondered where these people live. Do they have anyone around them who is trying to share THE TRUTH with them? Or are they alone in their unknown emptiness?

Sometimes in my social circles, I forget how many people out there don't know Christ...don't want to know Christ. In all honesty, sometimes I lose sight of the fact that I was once one of them...that without God grabbing me when He did, I would still be there. But I am grateful to God for the gift of memory...because I think He uses it to remind me of who I was and what a different life I have because of His presence. Jesus just wouldn't have time to be president, with the needy Hesterwoman around.

http://www.usatoday.com/life/books/reviews/2008-08-20-savior_N.htm?loc=interstitialskip

More on Jerry....

2008-08-20T15:07:00.002-04:00

Please don't think I am obsessed with Jerry Jenkins. I never write on the same subject 3 posts in a row....but I wanted to share a little bit more about my email conversation with him last week. My girls have been big fans of his series for kids entitled "Red Rock Mysteries." Even Faith, who considers herself "not a reader," (Strange...she is MY child, right??) was absorbed by the books. Jerry co-authored 15books in this series with Chris Fabry, and they are rapid "page turners"...just like his adult books.

When the girls finished Book 15, they were anxiously awaiting the next one, as they felt it ended in a cliff hanger. (Don't you just "love" when that happens?) They have waited, and waited, but nothing came out. So, since Jerry and I are so tight:), I thought I might take the opportunity to ask him about it through our conversation. He replied that the series is over...but in consolation, he offered to send the girls another series he wrote with Fabry (The Wormling Series) and he would even autograph the books for them.

You should have heard them squeal with delight when they opened the mailbox yesterday and found the books waiting for them. I could hear them running back to the house, package in hand, yelling, "Momma, Momma, they're here!!!!!" I praised God for the moment, because I love to see them excited about such pure things. Hopie is already tucked away in her room...and I imagine she will finished Book #1 today. Faith and I read some of it together yesterday, and I think I will "hold her hand" through the first few chapters of this book, until I can get her to read it on her own. So far, I have really enjoyed it.

I have been very impressed with how approachable and personable Jerry Jenkins has been with me and the girls. He is a class act and obviously wants to encourage reading amongst kids. Faith is excited about writing her own personal thank you note to him. I am looking forward to that too.

Riven Revisited

2008-08-18T12:00:00.002-04:00

It isn't often that I feel a book impacting me long after I have closed the cover. Usually, I am quickly onto the next adventure in reading land....but I really feel like I should talk about this once more, just in case any of you are searching for a good book that has the potential to challenge you spiritually (aside from the Bible, of course). And honestly, I am just "dying" to talk with someone about this. I NEED to talk with someone about this. I just can't get it out of my head.

I had the pleasure of communicating with Jerry Jenkins himself through email last week. I wanted to share with him how much I was moved by the book....even if I was just in the first stages of processing it. In his return email he shared, "The writing was finished months ago and I still feel spent, but a good kind of spent." I can only imagine what it was like for him to put this story from mind to print....and I feel a "good kind of spent" from reading it.

If you happen to pick "Riven" up, please let me know. In anticipation, I look forward to talking with someone....anyone...about it, when they have experienced the honor of finishing it.

Facebook Fess-up

2008-08-16T07:37:00.004-04:00

OK...I admit it.... before yesterday, I knew very little about Facebook. I assumed that it was an "Arkansas-type" cousin to MYSPACE (maybe it really is?), and I had heard so many negative things about MYSPACE, I was afraid to investigate it further. But after some gentle ribbing by some friends at a Mom/Daughter Sleepover the other night (what better things do we have to discuss than FACEBOOK?), I decided I better check this thing out for myself.

WOW!!! This is so embarrassing to say, but I spent initially two straight hours on it....bouncing from this place to that. That means, no laundry done, no straightening up the house, no boundaries set for the girls, no nothing!!! I was afraid to confess to Gregg what I had done with my afternoon. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, he would think FACEBOOK was a waste of time. And he didn't disappoint when I showed it to him last night. "I just don't get the point of this," he said, clicking on assorted friends of mine. If someone else had told him about it, he probably would have really enjoyed it. But because it was me.....

My sister broke in on my FACEBOOK marathon yesterday by calling me on the phone.(Seems so archaic, doesn't it?? The phone of all things.) She was laughing hysterically. "What are YOU doing on FACEBOOK???"-barely getting the words out. "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked offended. She stammers back, "Well, I , ummm, it's just that...ummm...I never thought...well....umm...you are so...ummm....Hey, do you want to be my friend on FACEBOOK??" Attempting to gather my pride off the floor, I uttered, "Maybe...I'll have to think about it."

So, apparently I am behind the times on this whole FACEBOOK thing. But the real question is....how many of you have your own blog??? Hmmmmm.... That's what I want to know!

This one leaves me "Torn to Shreds"

2008-08-13T10:39:00.004-04:00

You obviously know by now that when I find a book I am excited about, I must share it with you. Although I so enjoyed the "Kanner Lake" series this summer, I thought I would take a little break from Brandilyn Collins and dive into something different for the remainder of my school-free days. (Oh, why do they have to end???!!!)

I try to keep current on new Christian fiction that comes down the pike. Some avid readers avoid this genre, because they find it too predictable, too sappy, or just plain boring. I haven't found this to be the case....and I consider myself a pretty picky reader. I avoid authors like Janette Oke, Beverly Lewis, even most Karen Kingsbury because I need something much "edgier" than that. (Sorry!) So, I was eager to crack the cover of Jerry Jenkins' new book "Riven." You may remember his name from a "little known" series back in the day entitled "Left Behind." Well, on his own, without Tim LaHaye, Jerry stands strong as an independent author, and one that leaves you with a lot to think about as you are reading one of his books.

"Riven" (meaning "torn to shreds") is a thick book, but well worth the time necessary to put into it. Two stories are going on at one time, and somewhat predictably, (I cut him some slack here) he joins the two stories together towards the end of the book. Story 1 is about Brady Darby (notice his first name and last name use the same letters) who grows up disadvantaged in a trailer park. His life is hard, and because of that, he seems to always choose the wrong path for himself. As a reader, you want desperately to cheer him on to do the right thing (verbally, I found myself saying "Don't do it!!")...take the higher road, but unfortunately, he just doesn't have the strength to do so. He has so few people in his life encouraging him. Jerry Jenkins grabs you by making you love Brady...even having sympathy for his ultimate demise, though you can't believe the final trouble he lands himself in and cannot get out of.

The other simultaneous story is of a unsuccessful pastor named Thomas who has been burned for years by the churches he has tried futilely to shepherd. As a last ditch effort to stay in the ministry, he finds himself at a maximum security prison, where he has just been hired on as the prison chaplain. I don't want to say too much about this, for fear of giving some of the book away. But as with the "Kanner Lake" series, I find myself wanting to steal away to the bedroom, just to sneak in a few more chapters of the book, before I need to get back to my "real job" of taking care of my family.

So...give this one a try. I am always excited to hear from you when you are reading something that I loved as well. Thanks for valuing my recommendations. It is fun to share these books with you. Let me know if you pick it up! Happy Reading.....

Happy Blog Birthday to me!!!!

2008-08-11T04:32:00.001-04:00

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of the Hestermomma's blog!!! After over 190 entries, what is there possibly left to say??? Hmmmm....I'm sure I'll think of something.

Part 4- She was born 13 years ago......

2008-08-11T03:00:00.001-04:00

Gregg's head was spinning. Not only had he gotten lost on his way to the hospital in attempt to follow the ambulance, but now he was being introduced to the hospital chaplain. What was happening here? Feeling like he needed to be in two places at one time, he thoughts turned to his newborn baby girl, still at the military hospital, sleeping soundly with no idea what was happening to her mother. Starring at the chaplain, he listened to him rattle on and on, but keyed in on the words, "50-50 chance of making it." The chaplain patted Gregg's shoulder and walked away. Panic began to sit in and he was left alone in the waiting room with the enormous task of attempting to digest all that had occurred in such a short amount of time. Why wasn't Amy able to breathe? Why couldn't they do anything about it? 50-5o chance of making it? How can this be?

He cried out to God in desperate plea for Amy's life. He needed people around him....he needed additional prayer power, but that might be a difficult task. He didn't have any phone numbers with him to call friends, and he wasn't even able to recall any of their last names to look them up in a phone book. As he gazed up from the floor, he watched a doctor enter the waiting room. He knew it was about Amy because he was the only person in the room. The doctor informed him as gently as he could that Amy's heart had stopped 3 times, and things looked very grim at this point. No words.....just tears flowed.

Honoring those tears, God stepped in and placed a name in Gregg's brain....a first and last name of a friend. He ran to the payphone to make an attempt to call in the "troops." Through strained words he explained the situation as quickly as he could, and before he knew it, there were 40 people (many he did not know) standing with him in the waiting room. They moved to the hospital chapel, and joined hands in a circle, petitioning the Father over and over again for healing and preservation of the gift of life. The hour was late, and many returned home. But a few stayed side by side with Gregg. Their presence was much comfort to him. They remained in prayer throughout the night.

The morning looked brighter, with the news of Amy making it through the night. Those still standing watch with Gregg, lifted up grateful voices to God, in praise of what healing He had done so far. She was now placed in the ICU, and would remain on a respirator, until it was clear she could breathe on her own. Meanwhile, Gregg went through the motions of driving back and forth from hospital to hospital....spending time with Faith at one, and checking on Amy at the other. Soon Faith would be released from the military hospital, but it things were still unclear about Amy's condition.

Four days later, Amy awoke in a room in the ICU, dazed and confused as to where she was and why she was there. Eyes still trying to focus, she noticed a picture of a baby taped to a tray table in front of her. Her throat ached for reasons unknown to her, but she was captivated by the beautiful memory of the baby in the picture. She caught a glimpse of a figure coming into the room out of the corner of her eye, and recognized the man as her husband. He looked haggard and weary, but a smile stretched across his face, when he saw she was awake. He sat down and rubbed her arm for a long time. Finally, he was able to find his voice and whispered "God did something incredible, and I can't wait to share it with you."

Part 3: She was born 13 years ago.....

2008-08-10T09:48:00.000-04:00

Nurses brought her in to see me after I was all stitch up and put back together. I continued hovering in this atmosphere of disbelief. I was so taken by her beauty, and the image of God that I saw within her. She was absolutely perfect and I couldn't get enough of her. They went over the techniques of nursing, gently handing her to me, and walked out of the room. For the first time in 9 months, we were both occupying the same space, now outside the body. It was so overwhelming...there was so much to take in. We sat there, both she and I, just getting to know one another. My voice, so familiar to her...her presence so familiar to me. We spent these initial moments getting acquainted with one another. Her fingers, her toes, her eyes. Her cute little birth mark on her ankle. The sweet little sproutings of light brown hair on her adorable round head. I wanted to cry for joy...but I was just too exhausted to do so. I don't remember Gregg being there to share in this moment with me. They had sent them home, as another one of the military hospital's ridiculous rules WAS he could not spend the night with me.

When they returned to take her back to the nursery, I slept restlessly, waking up off and on to the reality of being a new mother. Around noon the next day, (12 hours after Faith's birth), I began to have trouble breathing. I don't have asthma or any allergies, so it was alarming and very noticable to me. I tried to talk myself out of what I was feeling. I tried to rationalize it somehow, but it continued to get worse and worse. I eyed the red emergency button next to the bed and wondered if I should press it. Was this situation enough to warrant pressing the button? Was this a true emergency? Instead, I decided to wait for a nurse to come in and check on me. But it never happened. Hesitantly, I pressed the red button, and a nurse came in right away. I looked at her wide-eyed, as breathing became increasingly difficult, and asked her for an oxygen tank. Her visual response indicated to me that this wasn't a frequent request on the labor and delivery floor, but she turned around anyway and returned quickly, wheeling in into the room.

While placing the tubes into my nose, she asked me questions as to why I thought I needed this. I explained to her with desperation that I was having trouble breathing....feeling like I was drowning...and I had no idea why. She left without much response, and returned to the room with a man I had never seen before. He didn't seem "doctor-like" but ordered an x-ray of my lungs immediately. Before I had any idea what was happening, a gurney was wheeled into the room, and I was told I was being taken to a different hospital. Gregg simultaneously walked into the room, his first time since Faith was born, and was completely clueless as to what was going on. I heard the man abruptly ask Gregg if he knew where University Hospital was. Gregg dumbfoundedly replied, "No." "Just follow the ambulance," he ordered. And off we went...leaving our newborn baby behind.

The difficulty in breathing increased as we traveled rapidly through the streets of Oklahoma City by the sound of the ambulance. I remember wondering how I got to this point so quickly....unable to explain my desperate need for air. Upon arrival at University Hospital, I was asked a lot of questions which I barely had enough oxygen to answer. They switched from a nose tube to a mask and were hopeful that would buy me some time, until they could figure out exactly what was going on. The mouth mask made me feel worse, psychologically....as if someone was now covering my mouth, removing any chance of me taking in much needed oxygen. I ripped the mask from my mouth and told them it was making the situation worse. The nurses insisted that I wear it, and the last thing I remember was "disobeying" them. After that, my role in the story changes from active participant to innocent bystander. The main character of this God-story now becomes Gregg, with a circle of much needed friends around him, and some unwanted conversations with the hospital chaplain.

Part 2: She was born 13 years ago....

2008-08-09T08:06:00.001-04:00

The pregnancy continued on and we were filled with such unspeakable joy. Sharing the pregnancy with friends and family....even my fifth grade students were excited for us...it was just such an incredible time for both Gregg and I as a couple. Every little thing about this baby was so mind boggling to me...from the transformation of my body, to the feeling of the baby moving around, to seeing the baby on ultrasound for the first time. I couldn't believe the possibility of what this gift could mean to our lives, but I still had this nagging soundtrack playing in my mind. It was the Enemy playing that "oldie but goodie" of his..."FEAR." I'm sure you have heard it before. It has been "on the charts" for a long, long time.

One day, I was driving along a rural road by myself in Edmond, Oklahoma, reflecting once again on the potential of seeing this child face to face in a few months. Uncharacteristically at that time, I felt the Lord lay something on my heart. (Side note- I know a lot of people speak of hearing the Lord's audible voice. I never have. I don't discount them at all. However for me, I feel His heart promptings from time to time. This was one of them.) I felt Him impress upon me, "I want this child's name to be Faith." I disregarded it. (CRAZY, isn't it??? You don't "disregard" God!!) For one, we didn't even know "what" this child was going to be. We wanted to be surprised. To the shock and surprise of those around us, we weren't going to find out. And for all intents and purposes, I was certain the baby was going to be a boy. But I thought it was a nice suggestion on God's part. A little off maybe...but a nice suggestion.

The pregnancy progressed normally, until around Month 7, when my ankles began to be very swollen and I was having trouble getting my shoes to fit. It was the end of the school year thankfully, so I could spend the remainder of the
pregnancy "resting" at home....which is what I didn't do. I had so much to get ready in anticipation of seeing this precious one. There was no time to rest. When I would lay down for a minute, I would see little white flashes or stars in my eyes as I would get up off the couch. I paid no attention to these signals, nor was I very alarmed when the military doctors informed me I had protein in my urine (is that too graphic??) and my blood pressure was high during my regular prenatal visits. I must have skipped that chapter in "What to expect when you are expecting."

We got to Month 9 and I was so very big! I was finally accepting the fact that I was going to be a mother, and I was so grateful to God for honoring my heart's desire. The military has all sorts of unnecessary rules, but one of the most absurd was their "must be 14 days past due date before inducing" rule. I was getting bigger by the minute, very uncomfortable, and my blood pressure continued to stay within dangerous levels. I mistakenly trusted in my doctors at the military hospital and had absolutely no idea how scary this really was for me and for the baby.

By the 10th day past my due date of July 30, I could feel some major action going on, and it seemed as if we were finally going to see the baby face to face. We raced to the hospital (after stopping for gas on the way....WHAT???!!), and began the process of labor....laboring into the late hours of the day, with no baby yet. The doctor came in to inform me that we would need to do a C-section, which had been one of my ultimate fears throughout the pregnancy. Even shared it with God in my prayer journal. But I was so ready to have the labor part over with...and to see my precious one, I could have run to the operating room myself, just to expedite the process.

She (surprisingly, not he) was born at 11:27 pm on August 8, at a whopping 9lbs. 2 oz. She was beyond beautiful, with her perfectly little round head, and sweet little cry. I COULDN'T BELIEVE THIS GIFT I WAS SEEING FOR THE 1ST TIME!! There was no room for words because we couldn't find it in our feeble little brains to describe what we were feeling inside, but our God knew. He also knew why it was so important that her name be "Faith".... because there would be a "massive" amount needed just 12 short hours later.

Part 1: She was born 13 years ago today......

2008-08-08T08:00:00.001-04:00

and my life has never been the same since. Oh, believe me...I know all mothers say that about their children. It has been said so much, it has lost its meaning...as if there is no power behind the statement. And that is unfortunate, because for me, it comes from the heart. I really mean it. My life hasn't been the same since, because so much centered around this child's birth. Not that all births do not have the fingerprints of God...because they do. I love that about Him. But God spoke in so many ways in my life regarding her life-it is part of my testimony as His child. And to honor what He did back in 1995, I want to share. I feel compelled to share. I want to scream it from the rooftops, because I am still in awe of what He has done. The beautiful "aroma" of this God-gift hasn't lost its scent, even after 13 years. He was and is so good. Please step back with me a moment in time, if you would......

I was a relatively new believer in Christ when I began to pray for a baby. You see, my history with getting pregnant and staying pregnant was not good. I had already had two miscarriages by the time we reached YEAR 3 in our marriage. I shed many, many tears over this and I knew my probability for having a successful pregnancy wasn't very high. It was my first battle with God as a baby Christ-follower....in other words, my heart and mind were screaming "I want this, why won't You give it to me, God?" While going through my first Bible Study ever with a group of friends in Oklahoma, they talked candidly about this concept of journaling your prayers with God. Kind of like written documentation of conversations you had with Him regarding things in your life. This was a foreign concept to me....but I thought I would try it, no matter how strange it felt.

One of the first things I petitioned God about in my journal was having a baby. The other was my struggle with Gregg being gone so much with the Navy. Both had equal "air time" with God. While my friends were avid prayer-warriors, I would sporadically write in my prayer journal. Sometimes, days...even weeks would go by without me lifting anything up to God, yet longing for a baby remained a constant in my heart. One day, however, I felt a shift in my trust level with God. I watched myself write in my prayer journal, "God, whatever You will is regarding a baby, I am fine with. I know You know what is best for me." And I left it at that. I went on with life comfortable in my first "faith walk" with God. For once in my life, I let something go and I gave it over completely to God.

A few weeks went by. I began to feel strange. Something wasn't right with me. I dismissed the thought of being pregnant, because it just wasn't something I was focusing on anymore. But as time passed, it occurred to me I better take a pregnancy test. I dreaded doing this. It was as if I was taking a few steps backwards in my "faith walk." I wanted to say to God, "Look, I have made great strides in this area of my life....and I can't go back to having this on my mind all the time. You have brought me to a good place with this. I can't allow myself to be open to the possibility. It is too painful."

The test came back positive and I stood in the bathroom dumbfounded. Gregg was deployed with the Navy again, so there was no one around to share it with. I couldn't tell my friends, because I had learned my lesson two miscarriages ago, to keep my mouth shut about the pregnancies. It was just too difficult to go back to people and tell them the pregnancies were over. So, when Gregg did finally come home, we mutually decided to keep the news to ourselves. That way, when the pregnancy ended, we could grieve alone, and not have to explain anything to others. (Selfish thinking, I know.)

Weird thing about it....month after month went by with no miscarriage. I was completely shocked and scared. By Month 4, it occurred to both of us, that we probably should start sharing this incredible news with family and friends, because clothes were starting to fit tightly, and it was becoming a little obvious. Still extremely cautious, we began to share....and it felt good to do so. Friends were so genuinely happy for us. They celebrated this news with us, and I felt what it truly meant to be a part of a body of believers....part of community, for the very first time. I had no idea how important this group of people were going to be in the days to come.

In your ipod dreams

2008-08-06T16:06:00.003-04:00

Here is a blast from the past. Does the name Glenn Miller ring a bell?? This morning, I heard Hopie and her friend running down the hallway, heading straight for her room. "Want to listen to my ipod?" she asked. Her ever-agreeable friend said, "Sure." (I love those "in depth" conversations my daughter has with her friends. Straight and to the point. Cracks me up! No convincing needed. No calendars to match up. Just simple friendship.) Out of all the songs on her ipod, she chose Glenn Miller's "In the Mood" to share with her friend. I heard them bouncing up and down on the bed saying, "I love this one, I love this one." They hummed different parts together, mimicking the unusual mix of his music. After it was over, I heard Hopie ask, "Would you like to listen to 'String of Pearls?" and then "Have you ever seen The Glenn Miller Story?" I smiled to myself and thought, "Would Glenn Miller have ever believed his music would still be enjoyed some 60 years later...by two 10 year olds in Columbus, Ohio...who above all other musical selections chose to listen to his 'special sound' this morning????"

While the world wants you to believe all 10 year old girls are interested in is Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers (who are they anyway??), I was delighted to hear that my girl desires a little more substance in her ipod library. And I bet Glenn Miller would have been too!

Goodbye Kanner Lake.....

2008-08-04T07:14:00.002-04:00

Well, last night I hopped on board the proverbial "747" from Boise, Idaho and finally returned home from Kanner Lake. Most of my friends are already home now...have been for some time, and left me in the "book race" dust. I have enjoyed this series very much and feel like I have accomplished something for actually finishing it. I have never completely read a series before. Didn't even finished the "Left Behind" series. GASP!!!! But this one was well worth reading, and I will fondly remember the summer I spent with the people of Kanner Lake...and my friends who joined me in reading this suspenseful "quad-rilogy." (Oops!! Don't want to forget you, Mom. I know you are enjoying them, too!)

If you haven't finished the series yet, I hope what I am about to say won't deter you. The reason it has taken me so long to leave Kanner Lake is that it wasn't easy for me to get through Book 4 Amber Morn. It was my least favorite of the series and it wasn't hard for me to put down. It didn't appear to have as many twists and turns as its prior books. But don't let my opinion convince you to not finish the series!! Collins wraps up the character stories nicely, and you aren't left wondering what happened to these people. It is a clean conclusion and doesn't leave you angry at the author.

So...there are just a few weeks of summer reading left. If you haven't picked up the series yet, take time out of your crazy schedule and enjoy a good book. But...I warn you, don't read these things at night before you go to bed. It could produce a nightmare or two if you aren't careful.

PS- My favorites have been Books 1 and 3....although most people prefer Book 2 over Book 1.

PPS-Special thanks to Brenda, Kim, Sara, Trudy, Jacqui, and Mom for joining me in this series. It has been so fun to read and discuss these with you.

Blog Birth

2008-08-04T06:53:00.002-04:00

My friend Brenda has just given "birth" to her first blog....and we didn't even have a shower for her. Shame on us. She, along with friend Heidi, have "married" mutual passions and created a blog centered around two fascinating subject matters-nutrition and chemical free living. Both enjoy researching their respective loves and have decided to let us in on all the information they are gleaning from their thorough investigations. Plus, it is just fun for them to talk about. So when you get tired of my endless chatter about nothing and more nothing....why not head over to something more purposeful and peruse www.chemicalfreeme.blogspot.com. Tell them the Hesterwoman sent you.

Happy 17th Anniversary, Sweetheart!!!

2008-08-03T06:18:00.003-04:00

I didn't make it to the Hallmark store to get you a card....so I thought I might take this approach and hope it will suffice. I know cards just end up in the bottom of your dresser anyway (not that that is bad... at least it is not the trash can.) Knowing the easy going temperament that our Father gave you, I don't think you will be too angry with me over a $3 card (boy, those things have gotten expensive). I would much rather adore you with my own words than that of someone else. I hope this means more to you, too.

I loved your idea of incorporating our girls into our Anniversary Celebration Date last night. I agree it seems like we have been away from them too much lately, and it was a unique way of allowing them to participate in the joy of our marriage with us. (But let's not make this a new tradition, OK, Sweetheart? I do treasure my time alone with you.) I was delightfully intrigued by the questions they asked us over dinner about our engagement and our wedding day (Did anything strange happen on your wedding day? Did you pick out Momma's ring by yourself or together? Where did you first live after you were married?) Answering those questions for them took me to a place in my memory where I don't often go anymore....mostly because my brain is filled with to-do lists and calendar obligations. But how sweet it was to look over at you, sitting side by side with me in that booth at O'Charley's and listening to you share those mutual memories with our daughters.

One thing occurred to me as we shared those precious early days with our daughters last night. We have come a long way, Sweetheart. And it has been nothing of our own doing. It has been completely our God. I am truly in awe of what He has done, and what He continues to do with two incredibly sinful human beings. He is placed crucially at the center of our marriage, because without Him, there would be no Hestercouple. He has given so abundantly to us, in ways we can see, and in many ways we can't. He is worthy of so much praise, simply because of who He is, and what He has done.

Yesterday, I asked you if it felt like 17 years. You replied, "Not at all." I would have to agree. I think there are many reasons why it doesn't feel like 17 years. It took us so long to get our God-bearings as a couple. We moved around so much...it always seemed like we were starting over with each place we attempted to "settled down" in. And ever since the girls came into our lives, it's as if the days pass by at record pace. We couldn't reign them in even if we tried.

But I got to thinking this morning, how wonderful of God to give us the gift of marriage....someone to make history with....someone to create babies with...someone to laugh with...someone to cry with...someone to parent with...someone to talk deeply with...someone to pray with...someone to laugh with...someone to celebrate with...someone to live life with until you see your Savior face to face. Marriage is so uniquely God, and today, I am so incredibly honored to be married to you, Gregg Hesterman. You still "float my boat," during both rocky seas and tranquil waters, after all these years. I love you, Honey.

**If you are wondering how old we were when we got married, the correct answer is 22. Although, many speculate 12, after looking at this picture.

Donde esta decoración?

2008-07-30T16:58:00.003-04:00

Can you help me? The Hesterhome is the first stop for a 7th and 8th grade Progressive Dinner on August 16th and the theme is Mexican. I would love to decorate for the occasion, but alas, I have nothing...I mean nada Mexican. Is there anyone out in local Blogdom that can help me out? I could try Oriental Trader, but I thought I might check with you all first.

Muchas gracias,
The Hesterwoman

WV Trip Day 5- Going Home

2008-07-30T16:10:00.005-04:00

WV Trip-Friday Morning-7/25/08

I have such mixed feelings about leaving Northfork. I have missed my girls terribly and there is so much I am looking forward to sharing with them. I know they will never fully understand all we have known here until they experience it themselves (something I am already looking forward to doing with them). I have learned many valuable things....some I cannot put into words yet, and I pray they never leave me. The Mustard Seeds people have challenged us to take what we have learned back to our communities and take part in local missions. They have warned us how easy it will be to go back to "life as usual." I take this all in, and know this will be an incredible temptation for me. It's not that I don't want to be changed...don't want to be permanently affected by what I have experienced. But I can see how intentional I will need to be in allowing God to use me in this capacity. There are plenty of distractions...plenty of "good things" that fill my calendar already. What will it take to make this a priority in my life, and in my family's life? I know I deeply want it, but will I be taken in by the entrapment of my own schedule...my own "to-do" list?

"Team Blowout" says goodbye to Bev

As we pack up the vans to go home, I sense I am not the only one experiencing a dichotomy of emotions. I would like to pick my teammates' brains...sneak a peek into their hearts, but I think we are all too spent. Level 5 conversations* must be avoided right now. I know the trouble I am having defining what I am taking away with me from Northfork...from Bev...from Judy...from Mr. Karmak, not to mention the newly formed bond I feel with my teammates. To experience something of this magnitude for me....my first mission trip...has been such a blessing from my Father. I can imagine His thoughts throughout the week...smiling, even laughing at times along with me. "Amy, you talked with Me so much about your fears in going...your fears in saying goodbye to the girls... now look at you. Your finger nails are filthy, your legs have bruises all over them, your wrist aches from pulling out hundreds of nails, your "cute boots" aren't so cute anymore, your hair needs a decent washing....not to mention that you couldn't eat another turkey sandwich if you tried. But you wouldn't have missed this for anything, would you?" And tearfully I reply, "Father, You are so right. You are always so right. Thank you so very much for allowing me the incredible pleasure of being here this week. How I can't wait to go back again. Please make permanent in my heart the things that I have learned here this week. I am so grateful to you."

NewLife WV Team says goodbye...for now.

WV Trip Day 4- Raining "buckets"

2008-07-28T20:32:00.009-04:00

WV Trip-Thursday Morning-7/24/08 6:15 am

Today is our last day with Bev and I must say how much I am going to miss her. With each day, we have had the pleasure of spending time with her, listening to her stories, wrapping up her sentences with "Lord, have mercy." It is hard to imagine our time with her and our week in WV is nearly over. While her new roof has made some progress this week, we will not finish it unfortunately. The bigger burden I feel for her, however, is leaving her today without confirmation she knows Christ as her personal Savior. I pray for the opportunity to share with her today. It is so very important.

Eric Kitchen and my Man making great strides with the roof

From a task standpoint we worked as hard as we could yesterday, but the rain got in the way. I was in the house with Bev when the rain came rushing down, and we frantically gathered pots, pans, and buckets to capture the water that was leaking into her bedroom from holes in the roof. As we laid newspapers down for absorption, I wanted that new roof for her more than ever, I told her how badly I felt about the water coming through. She said, "Honey, you don't worry about that....this happens time and time again." I couldn't imagine dealing with this every time it rained. I would panic each time I'd see the clouds rolling in.

Mustard Seeds Intern Ryan and Team Mate Melissa Foley get a little afternoon R&R. This photo was staged. Very rarely did they ever rest.

We went back into "civilization" last night and ate dinner together as a team at the Texas Roadhouse about 45 minutes from Northfork. I used my cell phone again, I put on "normal" clothes again, and I applied makeup to my face again. As I looking in the mirror, I felt I was recognizing a person I knew before WV, and I wondered if I wanted her back in my life again.

Team Mate Chris Snyder and the teens hanging out together at the Roadhouse. These guys worked incredibly hard this week and I was so proud of them!

Team Mate Rachel and the Hesterwoman waiting eagerly for our steaks

Team Mates Lauren and Eric Kitchen look a little scared with Cheryl Hilliard's knife and fork exposed. She's ready to eat!

WV Trip Day 3- Snags and Challenges

2008-07-28T17:37:00.011-04:00

WV Trip-Wednesday morning-7/23/08 6am

Team mate Lauren and Mustard Seed's Intern Ryan make many trips up and down the ladder. Steady progress is key at finishing Bev's roof.

We ran into some major snags (no pun intended-Team Blowout!) yesterday with the roof. Many of the boards underneath are rotted through and it makes it tricky to know where to step now that most of the layers have been pulled away. The rotted boards set our team back and replacing them becomes a challenge. My level of expertise surrounding roofs is becoming evident and how I can help my team is limited. At times, the burden of the roof falls solely to Gregg and Eric due to the complexity of the task and I feel badly about that.

Our connection with Bev is solidifying some. She is feeling more comfortable around us. My desire to meet her needs is also changing as I begin to develop a love for her soul. She is becoming more than just a random person to me...more than an "assignment." With every shingle I pull off, I think of how wonderful it will be for her to have the peace of mind of a new roof. My only question is does she have the peace of mind of her Savior?

Spending time with Bev

In terms of energy, I am still very tired and feel much anxiety when I don't sleep well. I know the amount of energy that will be required of me the next day... and in the middle of the night, I am concerned about not having it....letting my team down...appearing lazy. I also hope my interactions with people don't become short because of my need for sleep. I don't want to offend anybody with a crabby spirit.

Eyes are starting to look like my husband's. They say the longer you are married, the more you look alike.

I have had the blessed opportunity to visit with some neighbors near the "Big House" we are all staying in. The allure of the cats pulls me to Judy's porch. She is a full of personality 60 yr. old who has lived much of her life here in Northfork. She could be labeled as the resident historian as she revealed fact after fact about the decline of the area. I appreciated her transparency with the information she shared. As we volleyed back and forth between question and answer, I imagined myself as a "60Minutes" reporter doing a much needed story on the "ifs and the whys" of this rundown town. Judy is quick-witted and many times I marvelled at the amount of history and reason she had within her. With cats running in between and through her gait, she ran inside her home for a moment and brought out a black binder full of historical pictures of the area. As I turned page after page, I saw proof that this town used to "be something" and my heart ached for what it had become. With the current median age in Northfork being 50 yrs. old, Judy shared that their population of children was extremely small. She feared what would happen to Northfork in the future, with the strong potential of it dying with its people. As she talks on, I look out at the beautiful mountain ranges that can be seen so ideally from her porch. I grieve for this town that has placed its building blocks on one form of income....the coal mines, and I wonder how many other American towns could be wiped out if they only survived on one industry.

Storm rolls in as I talk with Judy. The rain unfortunately ends our conversation.

WV Trip Day 2- "Team Blowout" is born

2008-07-26T07:27:00.005-04:00

WV Trip- Tuesday morning- 7/22/08 5:50 am

Exhaustion is already setting in which concerns me some. I have never worked as hard as I did yesterday in my life, and of course, I feel guilty about that when it is all said and done. My body aches from pulling muscles I didn't know I had, but I think of Jesus' sacrificial heart and try to focus on His ability to love deeply without reciprocation.

Getting ready to start our new adventure. Notice how clean we are at this point. Gregg helps by lacing up the boots. I did this myself from then on. :)

Yesterday, we had the pleasure of meeting our family/person we would be serving for the week. We drove just a little ways from our Mustard Seeds House, through the back hills of WV. After a steep embankment and sharp turns, we arrived at Beverly Reid's house, otherwise known as "Bev." Bev is a 72 yrs. old short African American woman in a small 3 bedroom home with a beautiful mountain view. The problem is her roof leaks terribly when it rains and we are coming to give her a new one. Unbeknowst to the group, Bev's roof has 6 layers of roofing on it and some of the boards beneath it have rotted through. Before assessing our task for the day, we have the pleasure of meeting Bev ourselves and she welcomes us right in. We walk through the breezeway which includes her washer and dryer and a few plants. The floor unexpectedly slants as we pass through her kitchen into her living room where we gather for our first initial conversation with her. She carried the conversation well, though I sense some nervousness with us being there. This is perfectly understandable and I think I would feel exactly the same way. We listen to her describe her life a little...Grandmother of 2 boys (talks about them first, pictures of her family everywhere in the LR), mother of 3 (daughter and twin boys), widow of James Reid who died three years ago of lung cancer and black lung (from working in the coal mines). Her grandson lives with her at times and one seems to be sleeping in the back room when we get there. As the rest of the team goes out of the house to get things started, team member Lauren and I stay back to visit with Bev a little longer. This conversation of 2 on 1 is much more relaxed than the first, and I can't help but travel back in time as I listen to Bev reminisce. I am marked by the depth of how little she has...how little she always has had, yet she doesn't seem to lack a thing. God provides always....and of course I reflect on the provision that Gregg and I have and feel unworthy.

The manual labor begins on the roof and I am initially lost as to how I can contribute. I would much rather go back in and talk with Bev, but my team needs me to step up to the plate and go outside my comfort zone. I go up the rungs of the ladder with fear and trepidation as I have never walked upon a roof before. I dispell any fear of heights I might have by literally crawling on my hands and knees in some spots, just to get my bearings. Labor has already begun on removing the shingles off the roof and it feels like peeling skin from a bad sunburn...layer after layer. Melissa Foley, a team member, works with diligence and determination and I wish I could be "tough" like her. She is so confident in what she is doing, and I am afraid of falling off the roof. I wonder why my gift set seems so limited as if I just have the ability to only connect with people....not roofing shingles.

The humor of the afternoon sets in when a team mate of mine discreetly informs me that I have torn a large hole in my jeans in the seat, and discovers it while I am going down the ladder. I never felt the breeze once. (Mom always said to wear clean panties.) This provides hours upon hours of laughter for my team as I walk around with blue duct tape on my biscuits. I am comforted by the fact that my husband is there to apply my first round of tape (there will be more holes by the end of the day) and I make a mental note to add this to my arsenal of embarrassing stories that happen to me and only me.

No explanation required here. Dirty and Duck taped.

As the hours continue, we painstakingly peel and peel some more. At the end of the day, we have accomplished about 1/2 of the roof....one side. I have never been so dirty and smelly...but I feel like I have accomplished something great....for me and for God.

Note number of layers of roofing

**After this day, our team was hearby officially named "Team Blowout." I am not sure why....

WV Trip Day 1-The Great Adventure

2008-07-25T21:35:00.005-04:00

West Virginia Trip- Monday Morning 7/21/08 5:10 am

I am awake before anyone in my group which is not surprising. I have slept pretty well, all things considered. I have seen so much already....although my preconceived visions have not matched Northfork's reality. It is difficult to put the town's landscape into words. We have been told it was one of the richest communities of WV at one time, but it is hard to recognize even a glimpse of its former affluence. It almost seems like a tourist council's ploy to get you to come check it out yourself. We have been told not to take pictures but I can't help myself. I am such a visual person. I am afraid I won't remember exactly what my eyes have seen.

Mustard Seeds and Mountains House we are staying in

I have already had two interesting conversations with the townspeople. Within an hour of arriving here, I meet Mark, a 25-30 year old male who was smoking a cigarette and looking for $10 to put in his gas tank. He has lived here all his life despite a few trips to North Carolina. He is thinking about going back to work in the coal mines and prefers the night shift. He isn't much for small talk, even with all the information he had just shared. He cuts to the chase asking again for the money. Of course, Gregg and I have no cash on us and our conversation ends with him because of that.

View from our porch of Northfork, WV All but one house is abandoned here

As the evening progresses, I feel the need to walk around the town a little more. Gregg is not interested in doing this as he is having fun visiting with our team on the front porch of the "Big House." I connect with a few team members as they are headed for a walk and ask if I can join them. As we walk up the hill of the street, I am both perplexed and frightened by the condition of the homes. There are a few people sitting on their porches, and I greet them very warmly as I walk by. I am aching for an opportunity to go beyond "hello," but I don't know how open the townspeople are to my presence. Do they know I am here "on a mission?" Is it obvious I am not from around here?

Abandoned buildings and shops in Downtown Northfork

One of the most comforting things to me thus far is the presence of all the cats I see. How I want to grab one and cuddle with it, but I am cautious about what it might be carrying. Walking past house after house, I see very little evidence of past wealth. Because of my constant fear of the unknown and the unfamiliar, I am comforted by the company of the guys I am walking with. As we venture further up the hill, I see a precious little boy playing with a soccer ball near the street. My mother heart strings pull tightly as I am already missing my girls terribly after just 2 days. He is an African-American boy with loosely curled black hair. An older man is sitting nearby on the front porch. His countenance seems friendly after I test it with a warm smile and hello. He tells me about the little boy, Devon, who is two years old and the last of his 11 grandchildren (the oldest being 44). He is raising the boy while his mother has been in Las Vegas since the boy was 5 months old. She has come home once or twice to see Devon, but he is unclear as to who his mother is. He plays with the guys and kicks the ball to them as I continue on with my conversation. Mr. Karmak shares that he hasn't lived in Northfolk forever. He has seen colorful parts of our country. He grew up in Cleveland and spent many years in Los Angeles, pursuing a music career. Because of my gift of useless trivia, I connect with Mr. Karmak as he rattles off different names of the 50's and 60's....Sam Cooke, The Blind Boys of Alabama, Sammy Davis Jr. I know my time with him is limited and I am concerned about my team mates getting bored with my chattering. Just before we say goodbye, I witness Mr. Karmak's neighbor, a white man in his 30's, approach him with some cucumbers in his hands. He says it will be helpful for Mr. Karmak's arthritis. I take note of the relationship these men have with one another and rejoice that prejudism isn't as prevalent as one might think.....at least the people of Northfork have conquered it.**

More abandoned buildings from our porch view

We get back to the "Big House," where I receive some innocent ribbing of my conversation skills. It is the only true skill I bring with me and it comforts me to have already used it. Team Member Eric Kitchen tells me I am going to love it here. I wonder at this early morning hour sitting by a window, writing by porch light, what conversations God will allow me to have as we anticipate meeting the family we will be serving today.

**Later we learn that Mr. Karmak's house is on the list for assistance through Mustard Seeds and Mountains. Unfortunately, the other church "missioning" here gets that assignment.

The View from West Virginia

2008-07-25T20:06:00.005-04:00

Announcement: This blog has been silent for the last week due to time spent in West Virginia. We may resume our regular scheduled programing promptly...or due to exhaustion, we might not. In the meantime, please stay with us for the following announcement from the Hestermomma:

I hesitate to put into words my first mission trip ever, because honestly, I know it won't be that interesting to many of you. And I don't fault you for that at all. I have seen friends come back from mission trips before, anxious to share their experiences with the people around them, only to meet eyes glazed over from boredom. I don't want to put you through that. But I am amazed at the things that I saw, the people that I met, and the burden to make this trip more than just an event in my life. Please bear with me as I paint a picture of my experience with mere words. I have tried to be completely honest in my writings, to give you the entire package....not just the labor that we endured, but the changes in the heart as well. My reason for doing this is to encourage those of you that might have fears about mission trips like I did. Read if you like....skip around if you must....or avoid it all together. But, may God spark something in us all, through this experience.

To Idaho we go

2008-07-19T20:44:00.006-04:00

It's funny how things work out sometimes. My friend Brenda and I had hoped to get together this summer, once a week, to go through a Bible Study or read a book. Wouldn't you know it.. it is now nearing the end of July and we haven't been able to get together once for a study...let alone have enough time just to hang out with one another. But that was before our mutual friend Brandilyn Collins came into the picture. You see, Ms. Collins had invited both of us to the town of Kanner Lake, Idaho, about two weeks ago and we have been hanging out with her ever since. Kanner Lake has been through a lot the last few months....murder...missing people, etc. It has been fun to get to know her townspeople, drink some coffee with them at the town coffee shop "Java Joint," witness relationships budding....but our hearts ache for what they have endured as a community. It's been really rough.

Sadly, we probably only have a few more days left in Idaho. You see, we have been racing through Brandilyn's books the last two weeks and are nearing completion of Book #4, the final book in the Kanner Lake series. I think we will go through serious Idaho withdrawal after it is all said and done. It has been SO FUN to read these books with Brenda.....emailing back and forth as we complete the book. There's only one problem. Every since finishing Book #1 in record speed, she has been trouncing me in the rapid reader department....I cannot keep up. And you know how competitive I can be. It's pretty scary when that nature comes out in reading as well. Brenda has already started Book #4 and I haven't cracked the cover. But that only means she will have to leave Idaho before I do. I will get to hang out with our best bud Brandilyn just a little bit longer. She always liked me better anyway. :)

**My friends Kim and Sara happen to be in Kanner Lake right now as well. But they haven't been part of this neck and neck reading race of mine.(Come to think of it, neither has Brenda. She has no idea I have been trying to race her. Or does she?) Kim and Sara are enjoying a nice leisurely stroll through the town. At least I think they are strolling. Maybe they will beat me through Book #4 as well. I cannot allow defeat!

At the Corner of Critical St. and Ridicule Rd.

2008-07-15T08:54:00.004-04:00

I don't mean to keep bringing this "Whispers of Hope"/Beth Moore thing up, but I am continually amazed at how the scripture I am reading a particular day speaks to a current situation I am facing. I know this is how God works, and it gets me so spiritually charged. Today, I was reading in a book of the Bible I rarely get in to...Nehemiah. It's unfortunate that some of the lesser known books don't get much "face time" (i.e. Joel, Hosea, Amos, 1st and 2nd Hesitations :) ).

I must share with you some of the things I learned today. I do this because I can just about bet (although "Lord, I wasn't born a gambling-man"...think Allman Bros.)that some of you may be battling with this very thing right now. And I KNOW the depth of the battle. I am excited about these freeing facts and I want you to be freed too:

Here is a sampling of Nehemiah 4:1-6. Keep in mind the whole "joy" of criticism as you read:

1 -2When Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall he exploded in anger, vilifying the Jews. In the company of his Samaritan cronies and military he let loose: "What are these miserable Jews doing? Do they think they can get everything back to normal overnight? Make building stones out of make-believe?"

3 At his side, Tobiah the Ammonite jumped in and said, "That's right! What do they think they're building? Why, if a fox climbed that wall, it would fall to pieces under his weight."

4 -5 Nehemiah prayed, "Oh listen to us, dear God. We're so despised: Boomerang their ridicule on their heads; have their enemies cart them off as war trophies to a land of no return; don't forgive their iniquity, don't wipe away their sin—they've insulted the builders!"

6 We kept at it, repairing and rebuilding the wall. The whole wall was soon joined together and halfway to its intended height because the people had a heart for the work. **I took this from the Message because I sometimes "dig" the lingo.

If you are having trouble receiving criticism in your life or maybe you have a monumental task set before you, where you are receiving much negative feedback, consider this:

The Enemy will do virtually anything to steal our focus as we serve Christ.

In his attempts, the enemy often sends criticism, and he never lacks a willing vessel.

At the first sign of success in Nehemiah, the criticism came in the form of ridicule.
The enemy preyed on their hidden fears that the tasks might be too much for them.

If we successfully accomplish our God-given tasks, we must learn to deal with criticism.

Nehemiah didn't direct his statements to his critics. He shared his feelings with God. He poured out his heart until he felt better.

The enemy's attempt to steal our focus is actually an attempt to remove our heart from our God-given tasks. If we're focused on criticism and the subsequent feelings of bitterness and inferiority, our hearts will give up the task.

Is all criticism from Satan? No. How can we know whether a criticism is from the enemy? Satan is the father of lies. His criticism will be untrue. If the criticism fits, DON'T QUIT! Just readjust. You may be laying out the right bricks, but at the wrong angle.

Today, I asked God's forgiveness for the MANY things I have given up too soon, because I was criticized. Are you about to give up on something because of something that has been said or done? Check where the source of the criticism is coming from. You may be surprised in how often the enemy uses this war tactic in our lives. I know my eyes have been opened.....critically speaking.

**If you are looking for a prayer journal/devotional to challenge your walk with God, and to give you some spiritual "meat" to your mornings, I would highly recommend this book. I did this very same one about 8 years ago, and I am getting completely different "stuff" out of it this time. Don't you just love that about God?

A Hesterbrain Sampling

2008-07-13T18:54:00.004-04:00

I wanted to write my usual dissertation today, but my brain is too full of random reflections. Here are a few things that have been bouncing around in the Hesterbrain today. This sampling will just reinforce some of the speculations you have had of me so far....like "Man, I thought she was weird, but I wasn't sure if it was just me. Now I know.":

I love the blue mini-carts at Meijer. Wondering how I could use them more often...maybe shop more/buy less. I dream of only being at Meijer for just a 1/2 hour instead of the usual 2-3 hour shopping spree.

Why would Esau give his birthright away for a simple bowl of stew? Seems a little hasty to me. Wondering if I would do the same if I was that hungry. Nah...first borns are usually territorial with their stuff....even their birthrights. Wondering what in the world Esau was thinking.

My friends sold their house in two weeks time. Amazing! I am so excited for them. Wondering where God might have them live now...

My daughter's safety while mowing the lawn. Gregg says she is old enough to use the rider....I am not so sure. Wondering if I should play the "worried mother" card, or save it for another day....because YOU KNOW there will be one.

The death of Tony Snow. Seemed like a great guy. My favorite White House Press Secretary by far. I admired his character and his strength during his battle with cancer. My heart goes out to his family. Wondering how they are doing at this very moment.

Getting ready for the West Virginia Mission Trip. Work boots are required. How does a woman who only wears strappy shoes in the summer fare with work boots? Wondering if this pair of feet will even know how to walk in them. Better learn quickly!

The quirky nature of my second born. Walking into her bedroom takes your breath away, and not for a good reason. Dresser drawers open with clothes hanging out, used kleenex on the floor, two recently lost baby teeth on the nightstand (where is the tooth fairy when you need her), half-read book lying on the bed, and a chewed up coffee stirrer next to the lamp. This is NOT the environment I have modeled for her through the rest of our house. Wondering if this is a battle worth fighting.

Three-fourths of the way through Coral Moon...the second in the Kanner Lake Series by Brandilyn Collins. Wondering how in the world this thing is going to end and if my friend Brenda is going to finish reading it before I do. Must finish first!

What is it about my personality that makes me the dunking target amongst teenagers on a canoe trip? Wondering why I didn't have the strength to dunk them first.

The DVR is such a wonderful tool for tired TV watchers. What control you can have when it comes to only watching "what you want to...when you want to." No more sitting through commercials either. Wondering if I will ever get to watch half of what I have programmed. Wings...WKRP in Cincinnati...Family Ties..."someday we'll be together" (sung like Diana Ross)

Well, there you have it....Tomorrow, we will go back to our originally scheduled programming. Until then, this is the Hesterwoman saying, "Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow."

Would you like "Grouchy" or non?

2008-07-08T07:09:00.005-04:00

Are you familiar with the stereotype of a "woman over 40?" For years, I have used this term to describe any woman who was grouchy, short in response, smileless, crabby, never satisfied, an all around general complainer... and someone who just happened to be over the age of 40. My first experience with this age phenomonon was during my stint as a waitress in college. (I think everyone should wait tables once in their life. Incredible learning experience!) Every time I would "get a new table," I would scan the environment before I approached the table. If it was a table with women in their 30s, I was still in the clear. They would generally be friendly....engage in conversation with me...even polite. But if the table happened to be full of women over 40(cue JAWS theme please), I would gulp and do my best to win them over. They were just so hard to please and downright demeaning at times. 40 seemed sooooo far away then. I never considered how my own stereotype might come to haunt me.

This really isn't an age issue with me as much as it is a heart issue. I do not want to become my own stereotype. What poetic injustice that would be??!!! However,recently I find myself with very weak muscles of "verbal restraint" ....and the look and the sound of it, isn't pretty. It is becoming a pattern and it is catchy. It is so contagious, there are times I can get my husband to do it along with me....and he just doesn't even know he's doing it. (Sorry honey, I can be so "Eve-like" sometimes. I hate that about myself.) It must stop. But I have become so flabby...so out of shape...it is going to take some intentionality to tone these babies...because these muscles have withered to nothing. People attempt to fight aging all the time... with workouts, botox, and red convertibles. But how often are we really intentional at fighting the age of our disposition, and all the "yuck" that goes along with it?

So...now hear this. I am so serious about not allowing myself to become a "woman over 40" and am offering you this "money back guarantee." IF you hear me complaining about something or someone, CALL ME ON IT! For crying out loud, save me from myself!!!! Allow God to use YOUR still sane mind and firm "verbal restraint" muscles, and beat me up if you need to. PLEASE....I am begging you...don't let me become whom I served at those restaurant tables so many years ago. Or...if you feel the battle is just too great, I can change my stereotype to a "woman over 50." That will buy me 10 more years. But that will be just 10 more years of becoming even more proficient at my complaining craft. Save me please...girgle, gurgle, gargle...I might be drowning.

Book Nook

2008-07-05T19:37:00.002-04:00

As stated many times before, you know that I have "book issues." I don't even want to get help for it. I am comfortable in my psychosis. When I find a good author, I get so excited....as if I have discovered gold, or a cure for adult acne. So for those of you who are looking for a great book to devour this summer while you are on vacation, I have an excellent suggestion for you. Try Brandilyn Collin's Violet Dawn. This is a page turner...the kind of book you want to read and do nothing else. The kind of book that allows the laundry to remain undone, the cat to remain unfed, and your family reintroducing themselves when you finally close the back cover. I am looking for ways to sneak away from my responsibilities just to see how this thing ends. It is so suspenseful, and surprisingly, it is written by a Christian author. What I am most thrilled about is that Violet Dawn is Book 1 in the Kanner Lake Series. That means there are 3 more books awaiting me when I finish this one!! Oh glorious day!!!!!

Kiss and Tell

2008-07-04T09:35:00.003-04:00

Have you ever followed the trail to one of your thought destinations? This morning, I was thinking about the 4th of July,

which led me to thinking about Uncle Sam,

which led me to the slogan of "I WANT YOU,"

which led me to serving our country,

which led me to WW2,

which reminded me of my favorite picture capturing a glorious moment in our history, V-J Day.

I have always liked this picture. Being a former "Navy Wife," it tugged at my romantic heart strings.

Strange how the mind works, isn't it? Or maybe it is just how my mind works.

Surely you are familiar with this picture:

But what you may not know is the story behind it:

In the crowd that day, Aug. 15, 1945, was a photographer for Life magazine. Alfred Eisenstaedt, one of the pioneers of the candid photo, was looking for the perfect shot to reflect the euphoria of the moment.

“I saw a sailor grabbing every woman in sight,” he recalled. “So I ran ahead of him. He was in dark blue, so I waited until he grabbed someone in white.”

The photo that appeared in Life – the nurse in a white uniform being dipped and kissed by the sailor – is the most reproduced picture in the history of the magazine. Only decades later did Shain write to Life and say she believed she was the nurse in the photo.

Shain, 87, a retired Los Angeles school district teacher, is certain she’s the nurse in the photo, and she wrote to the magazine in 1980 to stake her claim. And at least in the mind of the photographer, Shain was the one, and he said so when they met years later.

“I wouldn’t say it’s changed my life so much as enriched it,” she said while sitting in the living room of her small but comfortable home off Olympic Boulevard in West Los Angeles.

She has three children and has gone through three marriages during her lifetime, most of which was spent teaching in Los Angeles public schools.

There have been charges that the photo was posed and that it didn’t happen on V-J Day, but few dispute that this was one of those great moments in the history of photography.

Shain was a 27-year-old native New Yorker, still married to her first husband but separated and working as a nurse at Doctors Hospital in Manhattan.

“You can imagine how people felt. They were just elated,” she said. “Someone grabbed me and kissed me, and I let him because he fought for his country. I closed my eyes when I kissed him. I never saw him.”

After she kissed the sailor, Shain turned away, only to be met by an Army man who wanted a smooch as well. She and the friend who’d gone with her decided to leave Times Square before things got out of hand. She never even mentioned the picture to her parents.

A few years later, Shain moved to Los Angeles, intent on continuing her nursing career. But she switched to teaching, the profession she followed until her retirement in 1985.

As the years went on, she kept seeing pictures of The Kiss and finally decided that she wanted a copy. She wrote to Life and said she was the nurse in the picture. Eisenstaedt, then in his 80s but still a working photographer, flew to Los Angeles to see if she was the real person.

“Now that I was of a certain age, I wasn’t embarrassed about it any more,” she said. “He looked at my legs and said I was the one.”

The identity of the sailor has never been positively established, though not for lack of trying. In 1980, Life ran an article in which it listed 10 men who claimed to be the sailor.

They included a refrigeration mechanic at Harvard University and a New Jersey history teacher.

And there is one other tidbit to the story you might not be aware of. One massive tidbit.

This statue, named “Unconditional Surrender,” is a 25-foot, 6,000 pound structure by world-renowned artist J. Seward Johnson commemorating the famous World War II photo. It is currently located in San Diego, but has also been on display in NYC, and Sarasota, Florida. Gives me the creeps a little. Not sure why. But I think I would rather look at the picture.

Happy 4th of July!!!!

**Information above taken from an LA Times Article and an article at navy.mil.

Bobbing back and forth

2008-07-03T08:08:00.003-04:00

I love the trivial conversations I have with my sister. They aren't all trivial.... but with my sister, it is ok for me to have minutes, sometimes hours of "talk" with her where we don't solve the world's problems, and we don't debate whether I am "pre-trib" or "post-trib." Some of it is just light-hearted nothing, and I really appreciate that. For instance, I usually talk with her before I get my haircut....as if to get "clearance" from her before I do it. I wait for a haircut until I can't take it any longer, and sometimes my roots can be seen just tickling the tops of my ears. (Maybe not that bad, but who doesn't enjoy a little exaggeration.) You see, my sister is younger than me, (I know, it's hard to believe....I look so young), and I value what she has to say. She is hipper...trendier than myself. I have been counting on this service from her for years....since the first time she taught me to tease my bangs and shellac them with hairspray. And she doesn't charge me a cent for her guidance. (Although when she reads this, she might.)

I just saw my sister last week, which is always treasured time for me. We were driving around looking for garage sales (it is a huge mutual interest of ours), when I told her how much I needed a haircut (as if she hadn't noticed). I mentioned how I was considering getting one of those "bob" cuts. You know, the ones that look so cute on everyone that has them. And that is the problem. Everyone has them. So, my sister gave me strict instructions not to get one. "You can't get something that so many women already have." So, I tried to heed her warning. I knew she meant business.

Fast forward to yesterday, I am sitting impatiently waiting for my hair transformation, when my beloved hairdresser, beautician, coiffeuse, and wonderful friseur comes out to greet me. She apparently had just had a recent transformation herself.... TO THE BOB!!! And it looked adorable on her. Frantic thoughts ran through my head. "Will she try to convince me to get it too?" "What will she think of me when I tell her that my sister (a second born who should not be telling me how to do anything) told me I couldn't do it?" "Will she take it personally and think I don't like the haircut on her?" "Out of spite, will she cut my hair into a bob anyway, just to make a point?"

As she weaved me back to her station, she "cut" right to the chase. "What were you thinking for your hair today? Want something different? Need a change?" Gulping deeply, I said, "I am tired of my hair. You know I always am by the time I get in here to see you." She sighed, "Yes...I know how long you stretch the time between your haircuts. But never fear, I have a great idea....let's try this."

Sorry....must end here. Gotta be a mom again. Toodles!

Multiplying like Rabbits

2008-07-02T05:50:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, I received an unexpected call from Jackie, the "Friends for Life" lady who graciously took Emma from us a few weeks ago. The minute our conversation started, my heart began to beat rapidly. I couldn't understand why she would be calling me. I was afraid she would want us to take the rabbit back. Maybe Emma had already worn out her welcome. Maybe Emma was really a male and couldn't be mixed with Jackie's other rabbit. But the real reason Jackie called was to inform me that Emma is now a mother!!!!! She gave birth to 3 bunnies this week. SHOCKING!! No wonder she was gobbling up the carrots and the lettuce while she was here!!

My girls are so cute. When told about Emma and her bunnies, Hopie said to Faith, "Emma must have met her husband in the cemetery. Now she can't even see him anymore." Digesting that deeply, Faith's only response was a slow sounding, "Yeah."

F-A-I-T-H

2008-07-01T05:10:00.004-04:00

I utter the word many times a day without even thinking about it. Sometimes I even yell it. Having a daughter with the name of "Faith" should make me an expert at "being sure of what I hope for and certain of what I do not see." But I am not an expert....I don't remotely have it mastered. I struggle with it more now, than I ever did. And let me be sure to clarify. It is not the belief in God that I struggle with. I believe with all my being in my God....my Father...my Provider...my Adonai. But what I am coming to realize through spending some time in Hebrews 11, through my "Whispers of Hope" devotional by Beth Moore (yes, still doing that...see February archives for more info), is the following revelation:

I am placing my "faith" in what God does, rather than who He is.

What does this mean? It is simply this: I base how I feel about God (or the intensity of my relationship with Him)on what I see, rather than on what I know about Him and who He is. I feel close to God when I am able to see things that He is doing, recognizing His hand in them. But when I think He should be acting upon something and I don't see it for myself, my "faith" takes a beating. I allow this to happen. My "faith" in the situation plummets...it plunges. I become cynical. I become removed...detached. I feel as if I am going through the motions of my walk with God. I become the poster child of "works without faith" as opposed to "faith without works." Which one is worse, I am honestly unsure of.

I have been particularly plagued by a certain situation for almost two years now, which fits this pattern of behavior in me to a "T." Before this situation occurred, I don't think I saw this "faith deprivation" so apparent...so real within me. But "they" say, "identifying the problem is half the battle." Now I will need God to fight the rest of the battle for me. Here is what I have found insightful so far.:

*If we place our faith in what God is doing, we should brace ourselves for a life-long roller coaster ride. Our faith will be high and mighty one day and free-falling the next.

*Our faith disintegrates because it is based on what God appears to be doing.

*Faith founded on God's apparent actions is not faith at all.

*Our faith must rest on God's identity, not His activity.

*Victorious faith walks evolve from seeking Him.

*When you don't know what God is doing, you can find stability in Who He is.

Maybe you aren't able to identify with any of the above. If not, I am sincerely happy for you...and if we are being completely authentic, I am also jealous of you. (But we can save that sin for another day.) As much as I pray for deliverance of my many fears, I also long to be freed from this sticky web as well. I am grateful to God for bringing it to my attention. I am grateful of the ability to see it within myself, and to fight against it. For all He was, He is, and is to come, He deserves the very most of that from me. And the next time I say my daughter's name, it will have a new significance within me. "Faith, clean your room." Faith, did you brush your teeth?" "Faith, can you set the table?" "Faith, come cuddle with me." "Faith, I love you."